Hi. I have a question. I’m not sure why I’m posting here and I hope this is the right section of the forum. I feel I should give some sort of introduction and why I’m here. I’m a 27 year old guy and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am pretty massively depressed. I think about killing myself pretty much non-stop at this point…like most the day all the time it just is in my head. Every once in a while I’ll have a day where I don’t think about it, but it’s getting pretty rare nowadays. Sorry if I ramble. I really have no reason to be depressed, and I’m not sure if I even am depressed or just obsessed with being depressed and suicide. I pretty much just hate everything/everyone and don’t see a point in anything anymore. The worrisome thing is that I’ve felt like this for, I would say, about 6-7 years…so I’m coming to the conclusion that I may need some help of some sort before it goes too far. Honestly I’ve always considered suicide an option since I was 15(I found out that talking about it caused more trouble than just thinking about it)...I never tried, and I wasn’t ever really unhappy till I was about 20-22 I think. I have a good job that pays well but I hate it. It doesn’t satisfy or fulfill me. It’s a really fun job and like I said, I get paid well. I live in a nice house in a good neighborhood, own a fairly nice car, have all the creature comforts one could want, but I still think that there is no point and why should I even live. I am lonely. I have friends and roommates and am rarely completely alone, but I still feel completely and utterly alone. I can’t talk to my friends about any of this cause they will think it’s absurd, even I think it’s absurd. I don’t have a gf and haven’t since I was about 23….I have come to the conclusion that I am unlovable and no one will love me with how much I hate myself and everything else. I’ve been on my own supporting myself since I was 18. My mom, dad, younger brother and sister all moved 3 states away shortly after I turned 18 and I decided to stay where I am, so I don’t have any family to go to really. I have a good family and I see them about once a year and talk to them on the phone occasionally but I still feel completely alone. I would say the only thing that really makes me not kill myself, is my little sister. She’s only 15 and it might destroy her mentally, even though I doubt that, since I’m not really in her life much other than chatting sometimes on facebook. And I know it’s selfish, but I know she would move on if I did do it. From what I remember, I started being like this about 6-7 years ago but it has been a gradual slide to where I am now. I don’t go out and do things because I so completely don’t give a fuck about anything and I can’t figure out why. I just want to quit life in general for no real reason other than there is no point. I’ve been like this for so long that I don’t even remember what I used to like to do lol. I do enjoy photography, but even that is wearing me out. I just don’t want to go take pictures of stuff because I see no point. It’s so effing pathetic and it drives me crazy. I try occupying myself by doing random things that don’t require much interaction with other people or exercising and it doesn’t really help much. Maybe for an hour or 2, but when I’m done it’s back to my normal suicidal ideations. So to my question, if you read through all that I’m sorry…I should have just asked the question. I haven’t been to a doctor in over 10 years and I want to go get a check-up and hopefully get some help with my suicidal thoughts…I’ve wanted to for a while, but I just don’t care enough. Who knows, it could be another year before I go, but I’m concerned it will be too late….and I really don’t even know why I even care about getting help, I am so confused as I am writing this. My question is that I need to know if telling a doctor that I have these feelings will end up with me put in a hospital. I live on the west coast of the United States as far as laws are concerned. I don’t feel I’m an imminent threat to myself, but at the same time, I want to get some help because I am afraid that I’m getting to that point. If I were to get put in a hospital, I know that it would just make me want to finish it all even more. I’ve heard that telling them you have a plan or means to an end, they can pretty much force you to check into a hospital. I do have a plan, many of them, I mean how would I not have plans when I think about it non-stop. I do have the means to end it. Do I just not tell the doctor this? Thanks for any info you may have. I am open to any advice or suggestions, even though I think I’ve read it all before. Please do not post about finding god or anything religious as I am NOT religious whatsoever and have no interest in changing my beliefs because of what some random person on a forum says. I mainly just want to know if I am depressed and if I will get hospitalized for talking to a doctor about my never-ending thoughts of suicide.