Question concerning one's family/friends

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by painside, Nov 25, 2008.

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  1. painside

    painside Member

    Hi everyone. I'm here for obvious reasons but I don't really want to waste anyone's time---I just have a simple question:

    The only reason I'm still alive is that the idea of putting family/friends through this is still disturbing for me but on the other hand I'm thinking: If the ONLY reason for staying alive is because family/friends would be sad otherwise, is it really worth living?I've been down for about 4-5 years now and really the one and only thought that keeps me from taking an OD is because of family/friends.
     
  2. Maylin

    Maylin Well-Known Member

    I thought about the same thing a few months ago, and I came to the conclusion that you cant live your life just because other people want you to.

    That is not to say that you should kill yourself, you need to take charge of your live and change it, not just go for the easy solution.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2008
  3. painside

    painside Member

    The problem is I feel nothing anymore but pain. I dread every new day. When I started going down and struggling I had motivation to change it etc. but after those 4-5 years I feel totally empty---IMO there isn't anything left. I've been diagnosed with severe depression and have gone through therapy,medication and everything else for quite some time---but to no avail.
    I tried to motivate myself many times. Stood up and everything but I just can't really win this battle. Everything I try to get back on track emotionally fails. There is nothing left.
     
  4. Maylin

    Maylin Well-Known Member

    Tried taking a break, move away to some place or just going on a vacation? You might see thing differently. You could get a hobby in order to meet new people.

    If you are going to kill yourself anyway it could not hurt to try.
     
  5. painside

    painside Member

    Thanks for your time/reply Daria. I've been on vacation etc.,tried many different things--unfortunately to no avail.

    I have a question that I don't dare to ask my parents: My parents know that I have severe depression and that I suffer daily. Wouldn't they (after initial phase of mourning)be happy that I could be finally at peace?having found the rest that I couldn't find here?
     
  6. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    there is the chance of that but wont they also think that they have failed you, and that they could have done better for you?
     
  7. painside

    painside Member

    I don't know. Obviously there will always be few question marks if one commits suicide. I don't want anyone to suffer/or be hurt---I just want to finally be at rest with myself. I'm not even searching for love---I just want to feel peace.
     
  8. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    This is a theme I struggle with. I'm staying alive to make others happy, but I am not happy myself. Who's being selfish, here?
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello painside,
    Welcome to the forum! You say you have been to shrinks, tried meds, and therapy. My question is just how much effort did you put forth to helping your self? I am not busting your chops, I just am curious if you thought things would heal themselves or have you put forth the effort to getting stable.
    I have been dealing with suicide ideations for fifteen years and have been in therapy for three years. My therapist helps me to deal with my problems. Everyday I wake up I think about suicide but then I use my coping skills and put it behind me for the day! I will suffer from them for the rest of my life. I am walking that thin line between life or death. So I set myself a couple of goals before I try my plan. So far I have succeeded in accomplishing half of them.
    You need to do the same put it behind you dailey and set up some goals you feel need to be addressed. Take baby steps and live for the day. Don't worry about the future it will take care of itself. Please give it a go and see if it helps.Take Care!~Joseph~
     
  10. painside

    painside Member

    Thanks for the replies.
     
  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I don't care how my friends or family would re-act.
    Maybe once you toss your last seeming concern, you will find that there were other reasons you were sticking around that you facaded behind your family and friends.
    Either way life is worth living for YOU :heart:
     
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