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Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Cariad_Bach, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    Is love, romantic love, just a loss of control?

    After knowing each other for a couple of years... Starting to really build a friendship since earlier this year... Getting real close for a month or so before getting together 'officially' 2 week's ago...

    I already feel less stable.
    I already feel more emotional.
    I already feel like I could love him.

    What am I doing?
    Is it worth the risk?

    I've spent a lot of time trying to get better. To get myself well. To get to a place I can be strong and self-sufficient And yet this man... He's making me so happy, that I'm terrified now that I'm more vulnerable than ever...
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I don't think it's a "loss of control," at least not in the sense that we are out of control ourselves.

    We have to let down our guard as we become more intimate emotionally with someone. For me, it's a question of learning to trust and then building experiences where I have trusted the other person (and vice versa) with good outcomes.

    Wishing you well! :arms:
  3. loneland

    loneland Member

    In anything worthwhile, there is always some risk. Anyone you become close to, especially romantically, you are vulnerable to. But you are not "out of control" in the sense that you are spiraling in destruction. You both are in control of how you communicate with each other, treat each other, and negotiate your relationship. Nothing is perfect and everything has ups and downs.

    Frankly, if you have been friends for so long and the closeness has developed naturally, it sounds like you have the best kind of relationship there can be. Don't worry about the what-ifs. Put your soul into learning how to love each other and care for each other and yourselves.
  4. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    I think that there are two kinds of love. Infatuation (if you want to call that love, but it never lasts) and then there is romantic love. Romantic love is what you are talking about and yes love does cause a loss of control. Don't really know you situation so it is hard to say if it is worth it or not. I tend to have a negative outlook on life and love so in general I would say it is not worth it. The truth is though you won't know if it is worth it until you are in the relationship for a while. I tend to play it safe so I think I know where you are coming from. Hope it works out for you.