I constantly think about suicide. I've had these thoughts since I was a young child. A day usually doesn't pass by that these thoughts don't fill my head.. I could be driving with a friend and I will think about throwing myself from the car. I could be out eating and wonder how fast people would call 911 if I jammed a knife in neck. I've always known it's unhealthy but when I took medicine for about eight weeks when I was 15/16 (I'm 21 now.) I couldn't stand it. Stopped taking it. I don't go to therapy because I grew up in those offices and you get very tired of telling people the same bullshit everyday. and now, because of that, I can't ever talk about myself. Weird, I know but this thread is the most talking I've done in years. I think I just decided that if I don't talk about it the feelings will eventually go away, but they don't and I still can't sleep at night. How do I fix this? I can't go on like this anymore. Pretending all the time that I'm a normal human being. When really all I want is for everyone to leave me alone. Telling people about my problem will make them all ask me questions. I can't handle that.