Question

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Freiheit, Nov 8, 2006.

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  1. Freiheit

    Freiheit Member

    I have a question

    I have heard alot of the times, when someone wanted to commit suicide, that it would be selfish.
    Can someone tell me why it would be selfish? I mean its your body and mind, you have to live with it so why not being able to decide when you die or not.
    Yes of course you might hurt your family and friends, but technicaly its your decision.
    Its not selfish in my opinion, its the only way out, if you fought for long enough.
    Let me know what you guys here think.
    Happy to read any opinion
     
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Suicide is NOT selfish. First of all, anyone who is in enough pain to actually kill themself is suffering greatly. It is extremely difficult to kill ourselves, because we're essentially completely defying our will to survive, which is monumental. It takes an enormous amount of pain to give someone the power to do so, so it is not a stretch to say that those who commit suicide experienced great pain in life.

    None of us chose to be born, it is not right to force anyone here beyond their will. If I were to try to convince a suicidal person to stay alive by telling them they will go to hell, by telling them they're selfish because they'll hurt their family, i'm the one who's being selfish. It's selfish for us to force others to suffer just so we won't have to feel emotional pain from their suicide. Death is inevitable, and we must learn to move on rather than cling to the deaths of our friends, family, and other loved ones. Who am I to judge someone's life, and force them to deal with pain, as if I understand what they're feeling? Everyone is different, some are more sensitive, and we can't try to compare our pain to someone else's..

    To force someone to live against their will is sadistic. However, to genuinely try to help a suffering person by offering advice while still respecting their own free-will and decision making is the right thing to do.
     
  3. Jess

    Jess Guest

    I suppose it's considered selfish by some because you're thinking of your way out. People in your life, whether it feels like it or not, care about you and need you there. I suppose if you don't see it this way it's hard to 'make' you see it. But I've heard stories and talked to people that carry some sort of anger towards friends or relatives that have comited suicide. For leaving them there.. for not saying goodbye.. for hurting them.. I dunno....

    selfish.. I guess I don't really understand why it's selfish.. kinda cruel to say that to someone that's feeling suicidal.. to make them feel worse about doing something they already feel horrible enough to be doing...

    But I guess that's about all I can add here.. or not..

    :hug: sorry I'm no help
     
  4. make_me_bad

    make_me_bad Well-Known Member

    "If you love something, set it free"

    Expecting anyone to live through chronic emotional pain, just for the pleasure and convenience of having them around, is selfish.
     
  5. Freiheit

    Freiheit Member

    I am really enojoying everyones opinion on things.
    Thank you and keep it up
     
  6. live

    live Antiquitie's Friend

    I think that maybe it depends on the motivations for suicide. I mean, like anything else, there are different reasons for different people. Some people are just in a lot of pain, some people may be motivated by thinking they are doing the right thing for everyone, some people might be trying to get revenge on someone else. I don't think that there's a simple answer, the more that I think about it.
    I think it is important, though, to think about the impacts of one's suicide on others. To not do so would definitely be selfish, by definition. I keep reminding myself that suicide would cause other people in my life pain, even if sometimes I feel like they would be better off without me.
     
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Well by definition selfishness is choosing yourself over others for something other than basic needs to survive.

    So by choosing your feelings, over the feelings of others you are being selfish. But then again being selfish is something simple like eating an extra strawberry or snacking. Basically most every action we take can be considered selfish because we are doing what we want to do.

    So technically suicide is selfish. But another person saying that to keep you around is selfish as well. You just need to choose which is more important to you. Appearing selfless or appearing selfish.

    That is the way I see things anyway.
     
  8. Porcelain

    Porcelain Well-Known Member

    I think, as with everything, that it depends on the circumstances. I don't necessarily believe that suicide itself is a selfish thing but the way in which it is carried out can be selfish. Having said that though, I would imagine that the concept of selfishness escapes a person in that frame of mind. Someone jumping in front of a train causes no end of trouble for lots of people, particularly the driver and the people that have to investigate and clean up. But if you're in that state that you are considering jumping under a train I doubt you're even going to have the capability to function emotionally. I think the whole concept of suicide being selfish is more linked with the anger felt by relatives, carers, friends ect afterwards.....
     
  9. emmajh1234

    emmajh1234 Member

    Thanks so much for saying that. I feel exactly the same way. I once told someone I wanted to kill myself and then she told me about her cousin who committed suicide. She said "It makes me want to cry thinking about it" but then went on to say that suicide is selfish. She said she didn't even know the reason why he killed himself so how can she say it is wrong? ANYTHING could have happened to him. At the end of the convo she told me she cared about me. Then I never heard from her again. Liar.
     
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