Since my early teens, I've consistently had this thought in my head that I would die at an early age, from taking my own life. It's died down a little bit over the years, but it's still there from time to time. I still believe that that's how my life will end at some point. In my mid to late 20's, and have begun to wonder when that time is? Is that still going to be my demise? Who's to say, I'm not even sure myself. Why haven't I done it yet? Why am I still here? Am I too afraid to do it? Is it just not my time? Still looking for reasons within myself to carry on, to better myself. Because I know that everybody deserves happiness, even myself(although my brain tells me otherwise). No idea where I'm going or what my future holds, but I'm finally seeing a real psychologist next week, so I'm hopeful.