Questioning

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Special-Agent-Gibbs, Jan 5, 2012.

?

Should I avoid Self Harming?

Poll closed Jan 8, 2012.
  1. Yes

    100.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs Safety and Support SF Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Everyone,



    I am questioning the point of trying to stay away from cutting. I know its bad for me, Not a healthy way to cope and all of that. I know that and I don't seem to mind I guess. I think I deserve to be in pain for the rest of my life, I deserve no friends, no relationships. If I am alone for the rest of my life. I guess that's another pain I will have to deal with but cutting is something that I know gives me relief its makes me feel like I am okay. Like my life is not falling down around me. I don't care anymore. I need this to stop. I can't keep feeling like this and hope it will stop I need to know that it WILL stop because believe or not I am human and I can't deal with pain.


    Please Help??



    I'm sorry for posting again! :apologetic:

    I am sorry. You don't have to respond if you don't want too.
     
  2. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    From my experiance the best way to stop SH is to forget you ever did it, like with any other addiction. youre awfully harsh on yourself hun, you dont have to be. IF anything stopping will help you realize that you are a valuable person and that you deserve to be happy. the more you SH, the more it'll become normal to you, and the more depressed you'll get and so u'll cut even more, and stay trapped in this messed up cycle. why do you think you deserve it?

    And you dont EVER have to appologize for posting here :)
     
  3. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    As Rose said, you don't have to apologize for posting on a site specifically built for those in your situation. This forum is here so that people in pain can support each other through the difficult times and work towards happier lives, or at least lives that don't feel so messy all the time. At any rate, just know that no matter how you are feeling, or what is going on, there will be people here to listen and to give whatever advice they can. We're all in this together.

    Been there before-- rationally it makes sense why cutting is bad (you feel pain, see blood, have been told your entire life to run to the nearest adult and ask for help when that happens) and that's all that's been said on the matter outside of S&M groups. But irrationally, the pain is a good thing. Somehow, it is serving a purpose for you beyond physical discomfort, otherwise you wouldn't be doing it. Try focusing on what cutting actually does for you, and what purpose it is serving. No matter how shameful or upsetting the answers may be, it will be better to walk through that fire and come back with a reason than be scared and alone, digging yourself deeper. I am in no way suggesting that this is a simple process, or anything you need to do on your own. There is a reason therapists, family, good friends and forums like this one exist. Find the people who are helping you through the pain already, and try to appreciate their efforts by continuing to push forward. Cutting isn't a morally 'bad' thing to do, or something you should be ashamed of. It's not something that gives anyone a right to call you weak or hopeless, yourself included. However, it is bad in that it is the shovel always within arms' reach in case you want to feel a little more secure in your desolate hole. SH'ing in general, not just cutting, is a way to temporarily push pain aside until you can deal with it, or until other pressures are adequately dealt with that you can face the pain. Until you are ready to walk a few more feet through the fire.

    However, no matter how many band-aids you put on an amputated limb, it will not stop the bleeding. Try to remember that whatever you're dealing with is a major injury, albeit one that you can't see, and that sh'ing is only a tiny little band-aid. It makes you feel like you are controlling the situation, and that you are alright for now, but nothing has really changed (the same could be said for any other kind of self-medication / addiction). Hopefully that is a good enough reason to re-evaluate how useful cutting really is in the big scheme of things.

    Everyone has their limit, and it seems as if you are reaching yours. What has happened, or have you done, to make you feel as if you deserve to be alone in pain for the rest of your life? That's an awful long time. You know, you are dealing with the pain. It may not feel like it since you're still hurting and things still feel violently unsettled, but by coming onto this forum and expressing yourself, if only in these few sentences, you are in fact dealing with your pain. You are capable of more than you are giving yourself credit for, I assure you of that. This pain is big, and scary, and overwhelming, but it will not be around forever, and you are stronger than it ever could be. Keep talking, whether you're talking on here or to a close friend/family member, keep dealing and working with this pain. You'll find your answers so long as you stop digging, and keep walking.

    --ThinkingCap
     
  4. Special-Agent-Gibbs

    Special-Agent-Gibbs Safety and Support SF Pro SF Supporter

    Thank you to everyone who responded. I feel better. I am going to keep trying to avoid self harming and I hope to do well.


    Thanks again Everyone

    -AbusedandIgnored
     
  5. isitme87

    isitme87 Member

    hi

    I understand you as I got same state of mind, except and I don't want to stop doing it. I guess it's better then killing myself.

    Good luck with it !!!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.