ok so heres the questions: 1. can a person ask/deserve to be raped? 2. does a person ever bring about their own abuse? 3. is it ever the victim's fault? 4. does a abused spouse bring it on themselves because they won't leave? 5. what constitutes rape? here are the politically correct answers: 1 no 2 no 3 no 4 no 5 anytime one partner says no and the other takes it anyway but.... are those answers truth? because these are the answers i hear all the time: 1. depends: a) if the victim is male, its impossible to rape a man b) if the victim is female, it depends on how she dressed, if she got drunk or high, and if she tried to make sure she was safe 2. if they antangonize the abuser, they deserve everything they get 3. there are sometimes its true abuse, but most times its twisted to make it seem like it was abuse in order to make the victim seem innocent 4. if he or she won't leave, that's his/her own fault, he/she knows whats going to happen if he/she stays, therefore, its nobody's fault but their own. 5. if the victim is not sexy at all (either in natural looks, clothing, or from makeup), does everything to make sure they are safe including looking over their shoulder over and over and keep every bit of property (including beverages) within sight at all times, never make any kind of sexual innuendo at anyone or flirt, don't get high or drunk... then possibly it can be considered rape, but then the situation needs to be thoroughly evaluated to make sure there was no room for confusion, even if the rapist wasn't confused that the victim didn't want it -- if anyone else has any room to think maybe she or he did, then thats good enough.... oh and if you ever had a past relationship with the rapist, its never rape so tell me ... what is the real truth???