Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by life, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. life

    life Well-Known Member

    Hello there i am 18 years old and gay...a year ago i started chatting with men of different age groups startin from 19 till 40.....I couldnt resist i wanted to have sex and within 2 months i had sex with 9 people.....There was even a 39 year old man....And i felt totaly disgusted with my self and with men also....i didnt get to know was only a sex date!....Still i want to have sex butt i feel disgusting towards sex...Like i masturbate and those stuff but ...i donna...i am just concerrned about if i fucked up my sexual psychology ?........And also i like older men i dont know why......When i was 9-10 years old everynight i used to dream about older men above 30 who i dont know touching me....and me liking it....and also some relatives also including my father the very young age maybe 5-6 i can remember very very clearly that i was seeing topless men and i liked it ....i even tried to kiss my cousin :O?????????......was i sexually abused by someone or i got very affected by my surroundings.....i am just curious ...I hope someone can give me an explanation
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if you were sexually abused. Perhaps you got effected by your surroundings. I don't think you have messed up your sexual psychology but you seem uncomfortable that you have been sleeping around without even really knowing those men. Maybe next time go for the guys who want to have a bit of chit chat as well as having sex.
  3. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend


    What you are going through sounds pretty scarey, but isn't that uncommon, I'm 40yo gay man, but way back when, I used to think about boys alot, dream about boys I knew, as strange as it may be, even straight guys do that too from time to time, but it really confused the hell out of me, for years, I have always known I was gay, but really didn't like the idea.

    If you are using a gay chat site like Gaydar, then it can be a bit of a "hello, lets shag, cya" type experience, take your time, as hard as it may be, try not to jump on each other first chance you get, lots of guys, go looking for sex, when what they are really looking for are friends and relationships, if you fancy older guys, then try meeting a guy close to your age, so you can get to know each other or even become mates.

    The feeling you have, could be any combination of things, the way you were brought up, the people you are friends with, all that nonsense that you hear about being gay as a kid growing up, try to think things through, calmly, it doesn't have to be that big a deal, you like who you like, no body can change that, its just the way it is, in time you might like younger guys.

    Try no to stress about it too much, do what makes you happy, what you are comfortable with, I know at 18 sex is pretty high on the list of things to do in your spare time, but is that what you are really looking for, just sex.

    I had better just put my "fatherly" hat on for a bit to, I knows its a pain, but be safe, use condoms, you can get them online, in plane packaging form places like, , in pub toilets, garages, supermarkets, all over the place, get some and used them.

    Try not to let the whole thing become this huge issue, it really isn't, it's only a big deal, if you let it become a deal, how did a young lad I met put it, something like this.

    Me "hello, you must be James, I'm stephens brother"
    Him "hi, yeah, Steve and I work together"
    Me "emma is really nice girls, she's looking for a boy friend"
    Him "she is nice, but I'm gay, so she would be no good for me"

    James is a really nice lad, for him being gay is like being blond, or short or tall, just not an issue, its just who he is.