Quick poem

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Chickpea, Feb 2, 2008.

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  1. Chickpea

    Chickpea Well-Known Member

    Blah I never write poetry. This just kinda came out in a few minutes. It's not very good but I thought I'd share it anyway... :blink:

    I try to see the pretty side
    Of me, and you, and all the world.
    But even when I learned to fly
    I fell as though I'd died.

    I prayed to God who hid in shame.
    He felt to blame for what he made.
    He turned away the very day
    The first man felt the darkness.

    The creeping menace is drifting in.
    No prayers will save me now.
    No comfort here to take away
    The anguish on my brow.

    I want to see the pretty side
    But everything is dull.
    I'll sit and wait impatiently
    Until I see death's guide.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    very nice:smile:
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I liked it
  4. You wrote THAT in just a few minutes?? It's great! (Even though it is very sad, it's so well expressed) You do yourself a dis-service! And I love the unusual way it rhymes - you have a natural talent. I think you should write more...and more often (as the spirit moves you)
  5. Chickpea

    Chickpea Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the nice comments... I used to like writing poetry when I was little but I guess being depressed took away my inspiration... and my creativity! I never thought I was good at it anyway but I might try doing more stuff and see how it goes.

    Yeah it was just a few minutes. I was just thinking about my loss of faith in the existence of God... how I'd like to die but feel I should wait for a natural end... and how I don't find enjoyment in anything ('fell as though I'd died' is referring to when I had my first skydive last year).
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I used to be able to write like that, in a few minutes, just "off the cuff". Not anymore. I liked your 'quick poem'. Do share more with us!
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