Quick Question For Everyone!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PaintedCanvas, May 17, 2008.

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  1. PaintedCanvas

    PaintedCanvas Active Member

    I'm not depressed, I don't have symptoms like;

    -Being unable to gain pleasure from activities that normally would be pleasurable.
    -Feeling tired all of the time and having no energy.
    -Change in appetite.
    -Finding it difficult to concentrate.
    -Losing self-confidence.
    -Finding it harder than usual to make decisions.
    -Feeling hopeless.......and so on.

    Even though I don't have depression, I've still decided to take my life. I've had suicidal feelings for over 10 yrs now (I'm only 22). My reasons are not because of a medical condition, but because I've consciously chosen to die. I have always been paralisingly shy when it comes to other people so I have no friends (It's also the same reason I can't keep a job), I also have learning difficulties which makes learning, even the most basic thing, a nightmare. And I won't even bore you about my self-image.

    Anyway, just out of my curiosity about the people on here with me.........How many of you WANT to die? And how many of you having suicidal feelings but are doing everything you can to fight them?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2008
  2. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    i want to die, the only reason I'm still here is because I don't have the means.
  3. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I want to die, too, the only things that keeps me alive is because i dont want to hurt my family. And also i dont have the supplies to that, and im afraid of failure, but mainly, its my family. Im trying to get over this feeling, and finally to die.
  4. A Box of Chocolates

    A Box of Chocolates Active Member

    Every day now I want to die but only thing that is keeping me from doing it is my family and hope. I don't have many friends, my life is so bland, my emotions are shot, I lack any self confidence, failing school, spend most of my time on my computer or tv, and I don't like people in general (they all seem evil to me).

    Pretty much 10 times worse then you think of a loser as.
  5. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    I kind of go with the flow...I don't intend on having a set determination either way. At night I usualy want to die, during the day I usualy want to live. I never want to fight either feeling.
  6. Shogun

    Shogun Well-Known Member

    I want to die... no, I HAVE to die. I have no future in this life. If there was an instant and pain free way of doing it, I'd literally fight for it. Life is nothing but pain for me, I am shy, anxious, overly-sensitive and I have self image problems in the most extreme way, I obsess in front of the mirror for hours at a time. No girls want to know me cause of how I look and I just can't get over an ex that left me 8 years ago.... yeah, that's right, 8 YEARS AGO and I still sit beside the phone waiting for her to call. I'm virtually Agoraphobic so going outside or having friends is out of the question. I have no family left apart from my aging and completely insane mother and when she goes I'm screwed as I am totally dependent on her. There's no going back on my decision to take my own life and I have a plan in the works. If that plan fails, I'm just gonna say to hell with it and throw myself off the nearest high rise building.

    That's how much I wanna die!
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    If you had asked me that question for up to the last 7 years and on Friday while I was parked on the tracks waiting for the train I would of said I wanted to die and even needed to die. But now I still have suicidal thoughts and urges but I'm fighting them and hoping I can for a long time to come. Will I? Dont know but right now it feels like the thing I have to do.
  8. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    Sometimes I'm ok but I think mostly I would die but it would upset my family so I wouldn't
  9. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    I want to die, and am sill here beacause I don't want to hurt my family or leave my responsibilities behind on them.
  10. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    guess i'm in the minority. i'm trying to everything to live.

    sure, my brain is still trying to trick me, and it tells me that death is the only sensible choice. some nights i am so lonely i can't think of any other options. still, i know that these suicidal feelings will pass.

    the feelings come in waves, just like the desire to self-harm. that's why i hang on. i know the storm will eventually pass. when it's really bad i just hang on, post here, call the hotline, or go to the hospital where i know they will keep me safe. when it's not as intense, i go to counselling, write about it, hang out here.

    depression is not the only one thing that leads us to think of suicide, poor health, loneliness, financial difficulties, mental illness might also be the cause. no matter the reason, suicide is still a drastic step when other solutions might be found. have you truly tried everything, and i mean everything to get well?
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I want to die, the thoughts of the pain are keeping me here that bit longer, just hope i can overcome these thoughts and get on with it. But then i ask myself
    -a few minutes of pain or -living like this....also something else that keeps me here is when i decide to die i feel so happy and hyper and excited, and i want that feeling to last without actually having to die, but that cant happen, anyway back to the question... i 90% want to die.,10% dont really want to die, just want things to be different.
  12. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i used to want to die.

    not now, i want to live
  13. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    I do want to, but the only things holding me back is the promise I made my mom and the fear of Hell. I often ask God to kill me.
  14. blackening

    blackening Well-Known Member

    i want to die, but for some stupid reason theres a small feeling of hope that i cant shake even though i know there is none.. if she would only come back to me everything would be ok, but i know shes not coming back, not now, its too late, for us and for me.
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