Quick story about my life upto now, and why I don't feel the need to live

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Anonymousboy, Dec 21, 2008.

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  1. Anonymousboy

    Anonymousboy Member

    Hi,
    I don't wanna sound like an overdramatic teenager but I am just going to go over some things...
    I did have a messed up childhood, my Dad tried to kill my Mum, she had a mental breakdown, my Gran used to lock me in a cupboard becasue I looked like my Dad, and I went into Foster care.
    I was bullied throughout school for being different, I am very eccentric and I had and still have hardly any friends.
    I now have extrememe confidence issues and anxiety, I am paranoid, depressed and I feel I have alot to give to the world e.g volunteering for the homeless and elderly which I am currently doing but I feel as though I dont get respect for it because these days in scoiety you have to fancy yourself and be cocky to be attractive and seen.
    I am jealous and compare myself with others who are confident because I feel that I derserve to be liked for wanting to be different and help others but I get none.
    M Mum has never had much money so I havn't had a chance to have the finer things in life e.g go abroad or generally have anything positive to do.
    I am now 16 and I am known to be intelligent and articulate but I have no motivation, I am stuck in a world full of wars, discrimination and ignorance.

    All I want to do is make the world a betetr place and it isn't getting seen, why are unconfident peope overlooked?

    I have a passion for thing such as helping others who need it and listening to people if they need to talk, but no others teenagers would do that for me.
    Am I just thinking to highly of myself or can somebody relate?

    Thanks alot, and I know this has been negative but it is true, I dropped out of college becuase I got mugged, I guess if you look like a victim then you get trreated like one.

    Feedback please :)
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Anonymousboy,

    Welcome to sf. i hope you find the support you need here.

    I am sorry to hear all those horrible things happened to you. The abuse is probably what caused your confidence to plummet. Have you received any professional help for this? Have you had any diagnosis? I'm always here if you need a chat, feel free to PM me :hug: I hope you feel better soon.
     
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Hi!

    It sounds like you had a really tough growing up. Please don't be ashamed of your struggles. Being young is tough enough without all that grief. I'm really glad you came to this forum. We're always ready to listen.

    James.

    You sound like a good guy. you deserve to have a confident voice.
     
  4. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    James is right. There are many people on here who will listen and help as best as they can. Don't be afraid to voice your feelings and thoughts as you go along. We all are here for you.
    :hug:
     
  5. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you had a bad childhood that sounds horrible. Yes confidence does play a huge role sadly, I'm not sure if you like working out but doing that releases good hormones and building a nicer body will help build some.

    It's far from the answer but it could possibly help some just a suggestion.

    unfortunatly Life isn't fair you were dealt some harsh cimcumstances..It's how we deal with those problems we can't control which makes who we are. Good luck bro
     
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