Quickest Way to Kill Myself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by InNeedofHelp, Jun 27, 2010.

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  1. InNeedofHelp

    InNeedofHelp New Member

    I have come to realize that my life was never meant to be. It started after graduating high school I was an Airforce Reserve. I really wanted to join the military, but then I had a physical fight with my brother. He ended up calling the police like a little baby after I choked him out and I got arrested for Domestic Violence, but it was really self defense he punched me in the face what he suspect? Now I have to pay a ticket which was fine because I had a job, I ended up losing my job because a girl at my work had sex with my friend at work, who's girlfriend works there to. I happend to walk in the bathroom to take a piss to catch him cheating on his girlfriend. Of corse girls are all fucking slutty bitches and only care about themselves she got me fired saying I called her a ***** when I never said anything. So I lost my job and then get pulled over for a broken tail light, he tells me to fix it then get it signed by a cop which I did and I mailed it in. Few months later still can't find any work, slowly started losing confidence in myself and no longer hanged out with close friends. Then I get a letter in the mail saying my license is suspended unless I pay a ticket by July 3rd, 2010. I'm also in dept with banks and credit companies, because I been unemployed for so long. I just don't see why God would care about me. Everything thats happening in my life it just points to no God and that my life is pointless. On top of on the vurge of having warrants for my arrest for failure to pay tickets and go to my domestic violence classes I really want to know how to kill my self in quick fassion. If anybodys gunna say don't kill yourself your lifes important you will go to hell for eternity, you cause pain to your family, there still hope fuck you!!! You have a job I bet and have somebody that cares about you. Only person that cares about me is my mom, I found out my dad aint even my dad, which makes me a mistake. Please tell me I have a <mod edit-gentlelady-methods> Matter of fact I'm gunna write a suicide letter to my family write after I post this. So maybe I become famous when somebody reads this who knows all I know is I have nothing going for me in my 19 years of age, you need money to have a girlfriend I may have good looks but I'm a lonely broke fuckhead that nobody gives a shit about. Gooday ladies and gentlemen I'm finally going to kill myself.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2010
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    There isn't much to say to make you feel better, but I hear you. :sadyes:

    We can't openly talk about methods, though. Sorry. You wanna stick around and talk to us? You may be able to find some hope.
  3. InNeedofHelp

    InNeedofHelp New Member

    Just finished the letter <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>. I'm a really really good person, but society thinks otherwise, I dunno man, I was with this girl for 2 years and she left me once I went broke. I'm suppose to be an adult, and finding work, but theres nothing I applied at any job you could think of I had interviews, but it no use when 50 people show up. Military was my last resort and now I can't do it because the government is corrupt and try to suck money out of me that I don't have. I'm going to get warrents for my arrest when I fail to pay the ticket. Then all have to do jail time. How am I suppose to pay a ticket if I have no money? I'm staying up for a little bit, I just took some pain killer so I'm already numbing out. I'm really going to kill myself. Just going to pray to God for the next hour he lets me go to heaven. He needs to see how much life is hell to me. I don't want to fall deeper in the whole. The world isn't going to get better its only going to get worse, and I think its God talking to me. He wants me to be there with him because he knows I'm a really good person. Christ killed himself on the cross. He did for my sins right? I believe in you christ please don't send me into hell when I'm dead please I'm a really good person I just can't take the loneliness and this endurable pain anymore I've tried for so long to find work I applied at so many places. Let me come home.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2010
  4. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Have you exhausted all of your options to resolve these problems first? You have to at least give things some time to settle and see what options are still available. Yeah, Jesus died, but he was killed, he was crucified while fighting for what he believed in. You have to at least put up a fight.
  5. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    Cant you go talk to the judge and tell em that you dont have any money to pay it?... Better than killin yourself...

    Believe me when I say that I know your pain. I am also so incredibly lonely, and yet somehow, I am still alive. Please talk with someone, call 911 or do something.. please!
  6. InNeedofHelp

    InNeedofHelp New Member

    No thats not how the government works. Judges dont care if your poor, they just throw you in jail if you dont pay your tickets then I will have to go to traffic afterwords and still pay. I rather just do this, I'm not spending a week in jail then tackled with huge fines and my license is done for. I have no job and my landlord is gunna kick me out within a few weeks so all be homeless.. It sucks I feel like Im forced to do this. I'm not gunna live in a shelter and shit thats bullshit. I have nothing to live for. this is my last message forever I need some alone time before I do this. I aint calling 911 there just gunna say Im crazy! Crazy for what? I'm not crazy if you guy were in my shoes you be thinking the same thing. <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2010
  7. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Please call these numbers. I think they can help you out.

    1-800-SUICIDE, or 1-800-273-TALK

    Maybe you can speak to a lawyer at a free legal clinic. Have you been to a non-profit place in your community where you can find assistance to avoid jail time and the eviction? There are options available for you, you just have to be patient and look for them.
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't know where you are from, but here, if you are unable to pay your tickets you have the option of doing community service. Since you are unemployed at this time, you shouldn't have any difficulty doing that. If it is an option where you are. It sounds like you have had a difficult time recently, but one thing that bothers me is that you are placing the blame for your actions on everyone else. If you would like to get better, you need to accept ownership for your mistakes and learn from them. I can understand how you can feel defeated, but other options do exist beside killing yourself. Try to expend as much energy on finding these options as you do on those of ending your life. Things don't always change, but it is possible.
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Inneedofhelp and welcome to SF. I'm sorry to hear about all of the hardships that you have been forced to endure in only 19 years of life. I know that you feel betrayed by those girls, but all girls aren't 'slutty bitches' who cheat on their boyfriends. It's not fair to categorize them all like that.

    It sucks that you were charged with domestic violence even though your brother punched you first. Choking him out probably wasn't a good idea though. I'm sure that you can still join the army. They are always looking for a few good men. Don't lose faith in God during these difficult times. God is testing your strength and to be a good soldier, you must be able to endure these hardships. Don't kill yourself soldier. Give life another chance. :hug:
  10. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Where are you?? :nerves:
  11. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I have to disagree. If you were never meant to be, you would not be here. You are a vital piece to this puzzle we call life, and one day when YOU are ready, you can find what it is. I do suggest that you do not have a closed mind when it comes to your spirit. Blessings..
  12. akjack

    akjack Member

    Sell the computer you're using to pay off your tickets
  13. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    In addition to writing us here,I think you should consider reaching out to the 12 step community. You will meet other people who have problems like yours that will understand and offer real help and support. I have reached out and it was fantastic. People helped me over and over again. Give this a try.

    I will pray for you. I know it's hard to have faith,but if you open your spirit you will get faith. Once I didn't have rent money and I was on the verge of homelessness. I prayed and the next day $300 came out of the blue. Exactly what I needed. Miricles happen. I think your pain and suffering is an invitation to get closer to God. He is calling out to you through the difficulties. If things were great you might not feel you need to pray. Please try to pray and deeped that relationship and watch your life change for the good!!!!

    You DO sound like a good person and the world needs you. We need you here. I beg you see the hope in reaching out for help. You are under attack now by a bad period in your life, but that has to change. Night becomes day,day becomes night,things always change. If you weather this storm there will be great things waiting for you.

    Try a 12 step program. Try prayer and you will be surprised. Help and healing often come when we least expect them and from where we least expect them. You are a good soul. if you don't get some bumps in this world there is something wrong. The good are always tested here. When your test passes you will have wisodm and strength and happiness. I PROMSIE!!!!

    Write if you like,

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