I feel alone, I am alone. Standing in a crowd I am a ghost. My voice is like a quiet wind. My screams are as silent as a grave. I have become numb. What I need I am denied. Forever alone, my body becomes numb. And yet my emotions run wild. Inside there is a storm, but outside is calm. What I need I am denied and I'm dying inside. I'm an outcast, rejected. Not good enough for the world. I am all alone, watching the life drain from my body. So screw you to all that ignore me. Even my "best friend". I should have known better than to trust anyone. It kills me that I can't scream my emotions out. It hurts to bleed it out instead. Where was anyone when I needed them the most? Even my own family betrays me? Then I wonder why I even bother living if I'm just a ghost in the crowd. I don't know what this is. It's not a cry for help. At this point I don't care. Death has been on my mind a lot. And yes, I've been on meds, seen a doctor, and had counselling. I've also been hospitalized for almost committing suicide. At this point I'm just repeating that since people always bring it up. And no I don't currently plan on ending my life, despite my recent crisis thread (which I was contemplating). Just thinking on it at this point.