Quitting smoking and drinking

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by scareddude, Jun 25, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    I have been smoking for about a year. I smoke about 20 cigarettes every three days. Not a huge amount, but still damaging I guess. It's the way I smoke as well. I try to get a rush off them, so I barely take my mouth off the cigarette as it burns and I inhale deeply. I smoke roll-ups and regular cigarettes.

    I also drink alcohol. Some weeks I'll barely drink, others I'll drink 15-25 units a day.

    Sometimes I drink and smoke at the same time, which is apparently very very bad for you.

    I want to quit these habits.

    I do these things partly because I don't see why I shouldn't. I don't see a future for me. Even if I don't go homeless or starve from lack of money, I'll probably live alone and die alone, with no one respecting or wanting me, and this makes me upset. Well perhaps that's just a case of wanting what I haven't had (a relationship) to see if it's a cure for my sadness. The point is I'm living alone with sadness and anxiety most days. But it seems that most people get meaning from their interactions and relationships, and I haven't had much of that in 10 years (I'm 22).

    Sometimes it looks like my best future is either working in a supermarket every day then going home to sit alone in a small flat (nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't appeal to me, having experienced working now through lots of voluntary stuff I'm currently doing), or having no job and living alone in a small flat (again, nothing wrong with that if you're unwell or the job market sucks or whatever, but it wouldn't make me happy).

    I think I'm going to have to leave university with my mental health issues. I try to see a future. I'm going to a metal and wood work thing tomorrow to see if I should do an apprenticeship in these, but I just don't see how I can build a life off doing such an apprenticeship, or even if I could stick such an apprenticeship out, given my history of unreliability.

    My parents are reasonably well-off, so it might be irrational to be worrying as much as I do about money (I'm aware that smoking and drinking cost money, so you could say it's a bit of a silly response to money worries to go out and drink and smoke) and homelessness, though I'm still at risk.

    I still have realistic things I'd like to do in life, even without a relationship. I love my guitar, my drawing, listening to music and my books. I have quite a lot of novels I want to read and about 300 maths textbooks I want to read in my life time, so cutting my life short goes against this ambition.

    I'd love to write a novel or make a guitar album or something, but I know this is unrealistic.

    One thing is, I stupidly went out and bought 20 cigarettes and 12.5 g of tobacco earlier today, and I still have it. I don't know what to do with it. I hate to waste things.

    My mental health diagnoses are schizophrenia, social phobia and Asperger's.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, welcome the forum. Perhaps if you give up smoking and drinking but focus on your health would be a solution. The best thing to do is a sport. If you are the sporty type it will help you in your current anguish. It's a only a suggestion and break you current cycle. Perhaps swimming or joining a gym might be a suggestion. It will help with your frame of mind.
  3. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :welcome: to SF ScaredDude

    With your guitar drawing music & books you obviously have undiscovered talents & writing a book or making a guitar album would be awesome. Have you posted any videos of your guitar playing on YouTube or Metacafe etc for example? I notice there are a lot of videos of such there so yours could well be better than what is already out there

    As for drinking I too drink a lot but that along with SH helps me cope with my intense feelings for my gf. Maybe a relationship is not the answer as I sometimes feel with my partner but then it does have some benefits & makes life worth living having someone to care for as she cares for me.

    Like you ScaredDude I have aspergers having been diagnosed last year and I have been likened to Mr Spock (Star Trek) Sheldon (Big Bang Theory) and Gary McKinnon (the guy US gov tried to extradite for hacking their IT systems) lol

    Anyway ScaredDude feller if you fancy a chat feel free to PM me

    tc ScaredDude


  4. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    Here, you've hit the nail directly on the head. Buddhists taught that much suffering in our world is due to this wanting. I think they were correct. Even a part of the suffering of an elderly cancer patient comes from a desire to possess the state of youth and robust health again.

    When the object of desire is a thing the person hasn't ever had yet, such as wealth for someone who grew up poor, or a mate for someone's who's always been single, then the thing wanted is idealized and magnified in imagination into something better than it really is. People who get rich or get married don't always find lifelong satisfaction.

    None of the things you want are bad in themselves. If you can attain them, it's a blessing. But the hungering after them, especially when they are out of reach, is a sickness our consumer society promotes. And I'm not even a Buddhist or wise person, I have this defect of wanting what I can't have, too.

    Best wishes to you. You deserve the best in life.

    As for quitting cigarettes, it's hard. But it's worth it.

  5. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    Thank you!

    Bad news first: I had an entire 70cl bottle of 40% whisky yesterday, and smoked a lot.

    Good news now: I have binned all my tobacco and my e-cigarette, and have made a vow to myself to never touch alcohol or cigarettes again. New beginning. Let's hope it lasts!
  6. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Canna comment on the drinking but smoking patches do wonders I have found specially the strong ones just need to relate the smoking action but yeah nicotine cravings just go plus even if you rip it off you cannot smoke for two hours as it could cause seriously bad side affects so gives you two hours to regret what you did.
  7. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    Ok bit embarrassing, but I went out and bought a 20 pack of cigarettes and smoked 2 of them earlier today. I also didn't go to my volunteering. I plan to go back to volunteering on Wednesday and get back on the wagon with not smoking. But I have a history of lasting 3 months at an activity, and I've done 3 months of my volunteering.

    My parents assure me I'll never go homeless or starve.
  8. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    On the nicotine patches but drinking vodka.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.