Quitting

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#1
I've posted about my job problems in the past and I'm sorry if this is redundant because I know that I have vented and written about this a lot on the forums. I have been struggling at work for about a year. When I first started at this job it was a family owned business and I loved working there at that time. Now it's owned by a religious corporation. I am leaving the particular religion out on purpose because I don't want to offend anyone, however that is part of my personal problems at work.

There is no chance for upward mobility or a raise anymore. Multiple people have tried, someone only asking for 50 cents more and getting denied. The chance for upward mobility for women is even slimmer as the head honchos are all men. To make matters worse, upwards mobility is impossible for people who are not the religion of the company, which of course I'm not. This past spring I got a horrible performance review. I basically got a D. It was shocking and humiliating. I am one of the most qualified people at my job and I was denied a position because I am not the religion.

Now I know my days are numbered. I am in a training position until the end of the year and am eligible for the license I went to school for. I am not sure if or what the company is planning, but I have been networking and I plan on applying to jobs in November and December. Before my hope was to find something before the end of the year so I can leave my job for a new one.

However at this point, for my own sanity and well being I think I should leave this job no matter what. It's either that or I stick around long enough for them to find a bogus reason to fire me. I have no reason to stay there. This job has caused the majority of my anxiety and depression for this year and I even began to have physical symptoms from stress and unhappiness. I'd rather walk away with some dignity and my head held high and not be booted out of the door.

It feels crazy to risk a period of unemployment, but I feel like my mental health is the most important thing. I know I will snap if I stay at this job after this year. I have been saving up money and been mulling this over for months and everything points to just leaving. It's scary but just thinking of handing in my resignation already makes me feel relieved and calm.

Thank you to whoever reads all of this. For some reason I just really needed to write it out.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#3
@Were all together I was thinking of doing an FMLA leave to give myself a bit of a break before I quit but I am taking 2 weeks off in the beginning of November in the hopes of giving myself a breather between now and then. I timed it so that after my vacation I'll only have 6 weeks left. I don't think I qualify for disability. Thanks for your reply.
 

JmpMster

Owner Emeritus
#4
I would strongly suggest sending out the applications and doing the job hunting prior to quitting,. Your negotiation position with your next place of employment is far better when currently employed, and saying off work prior to starting job due to illness is not a great selling point even in a job hunters market like it is now. That is the upside- this is absolutely a job hunters market right now so while many things suck by the sounds of the situation it is not the worse time to be looking for a better job , in fact could not really be better. Then when you find the job you want adjust start date to give yourself a little bit of break (blow off the notice to current employer if nothing else - AFTER have new position).

Good luck and send out the applications with confidence, act confidently as possible at interviews and it will be clear that you are a good employee the next place wants to hire, even if have to wait a month for. You know there are issues at current job- they do not and nobody does references other than confirming job title and dates of employment anymore because the fear of getting sued. Your current position is tough, your future has a lot of upside potential so take the bad situation and make it into the opportunity that you deserve.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#5
@JmpMster thanks for your response. The two weeks off isn't medical leave, it's a pre-approved vacation so nothing wrong with it. I have been networking very strongly and have companies that are interested in me, it is literally just a time factor. Basically they want me to have the license before hiring me but they know me and my work ethic and what i am capable of. This reason is why I am not completely worried by quitting before a job becomes available. Like I mentioned, this current company is setting me up to fire me anyway so either way I am going to be without a job. Our manager just quit this morning, so if a new job does call I'm not even sure who they will talk to lol.

I understand it's easier to find a job when you have one but I work in a very specialized field, which is why I have been able to network so easily. I have panic attacks at my current job and friends and family know that its making me depressed. I'd stay if necessary, but right now that's not an option for me mental health wise. I feel like it's a miracle that I was able to last the better half of a year what with the discrimination and all that. I would have never said this in the past, but I believe no job is better than a toxic job that causes anxiety attacks, insomnia, and severe depression.
 

EZ Writer

SF Supporter
#8
@lightning05 hi and hugs. Quitting your job is a tough decision. I have to tell you that I did that with a job--I was at the end of my rope and they kept putting me on performance plans--the final one was before they'd terminate me. I was ashamed of myself--the things that they said about me in these performance plans--and my field was one I studied for, got a degree in and thought I was bringing shame and disgrace to the entire field as well as the entity that I worked for.
I should not have quit though. I had no one to advise me, no mentor, no-one to suggest that I take FMLA and work on networking and applying for other work. And get on Unemployment when I was terminated.
It's something I regretted, but it is what it is. My confidence was in shreds by the time I wrote my resignation letter.
You sound like you've put much more though into this and that your head is clearer than mine was at the time.
(Also, although I was taking meds for depression at the time, I think they'd stopped being effective and I didn't know. Also, I had undiagnosed ADHD--so wasn't being treated for it at the time. I am now, though. World of difference and regrettably, I do have some regrets).
Sorry to hijack--I wish you all the best!
 

SillyOldBear

Teddy Bears Rule! 🐻
Staff Alumni
#9
@lightning05 Sounds like you are in a difficult spot. If you stay, you are miserable but have a job and a paycheck, unless they fire you. If you quit you have a lot of time to look for work, but don't come across very well because you quit. But then you won't come across very well if you are fired either and prospective employers are likely to contact previous ones (although I think you can tell them not too, which would create another problem). If it were me, my biggest question would be do I have the finances to survive a prolonged period of unemployment. It could take a while to find a new job. And what about medical insurance? Would you have any coverage for that? Best of luck whatever you decide.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#10
@EZ Writer I'm really sorry you went through all of that. Those performance reviews can be so brutal. Mine made me question myself too and it's so shocking to see yourself reduced to shit on paper. I too feel like I am "at the end of my rope" and the license is the one thing keeping me going. I wouldn't wish anyone to be this unhappy at their job, waking up for work every day truly feels like torture when you are in this position. I hope you are doing a lot better in a new job and in life in general. Thanks for responding and sharing your story.

@SillyOldBear You hit the nail on the head with whole firing/quitting thing. It can make your head spin. It's a rock and a hard place for sure. I actually don't have insurance with this job and get it through the ACA. I am lucky enough to live with my boyfriend who just got a big raise and promotion at work. Our work lives couldn't be more opposite lol. He wants me to leave for sanity and says he can carry us for a bit, but I actually do have enough to last 6-7 months. And the quitting wouldn't happen until January so there's more time to save.

I'm definitely trying to be as practical as I can even though I feel trapped and anxious to be free. That's why I've been trying to look at this "decision" from every angle before the time comes. Hopefully my networking will have paid off by then and I won't have to be unemployed except between jobs lol
 

mpk

Well-Known Member
#11
lightning05, I understand where you are coming from. I quit my job in 06- 18 as I was told my work was good but it may not be a good fit due to issue dealing with people. It was a difficult choice to make as it cause other issues by doing it yet I had to do it for my own long term well being.
I am currently looking for other work and have been turned down for 3 entry level jobs, I guess my experience and age would have something to do with that.
Good luck to all of those that need it.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#12
@mpk I'm sorry to hear about your job struggles and that you had to quit for your own well being. It's a hard decision to make. This week I have been bombarded with work and the only person in my department doing it. I can't think of any reason to stay as I have been discriminated against, stepped on, and taken advantage at this place.

I really hope you are able to find another job soon that will make you happy. Have you considered using a temp agency to help you find work? That may be one of my options after I am done here. I'm not sure what your situation is and what you are looking for, but I really hope you can find something that is a good fit. *hugs*
 

mpk

Well-Known Member
#13
lightning05, thank you for your response. My situation right now is I feel that I am not worthy and unable to make any good decisions. I have been working on my resume but reviewing it I have not really accomplished anything in my long work life, only mundane and life draining jobs. I have considered a temp agency yet most in my area are dealing with oil field work and honestly I am to old for that.
I hope that you find something for yourself as well.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#14
@mpk best of luck to you in your job search. Maybe the temp agencies can still help and find you a job that isn't so physical. Take care and be kind to yourself.
 

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