Raised by the family pet?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Terra, Apr 30, 2010.

  1. Terra

    Terra Well-Known Member

    Uhm ye.. "stuff you ain't interested in" alarm

    I kind of feel different from the people around me, and I think it might have had something to do with who I spendt time with as a child.
    My parents fought alot and got divorced when I was 6, no real scars after that really, feels it's better to seperate than live everyday in a war-sone.
    I lived with my mum and sis, but mum ha to work constantly and my sis went over to friends or just didn't want to be with me. So I spendt my social life with our golden lab Brutus, he was awesome btws, only wanted to be left alone and sleep, but he didn't tell me directly that I was annoying either.

    Later he got cancer and died, i never cried, nor was i sad that he was put to sleep. I just accepted it. We also had rabbits so they became my next target for attension, my bunny Fr√łya lived surprisingly long. Got her as an adult when i was 6 and she lasted until I was 12 I think. she died of age after a happy life. My mom had now met the man i later am supposed to call my step-dad. They bought a farm with two horses and I moved with them to it. my sis fell for my fathers manipulation and moved into his place instead.

    So ye, alone on a completly new place with a small thight population and my mum focusing all her attension on this new man. i got a horse though, even if he spent all his time running in the fields and play hide--and-seek, i still qite enjoyed watching him. He trusted me, and only did as I said, not anyone else. But in the end, my mum's new man didn't like paying for him anymore and he got sold. Shortly after this I got kicked out because my room wasn't clean enough for him -_-

    Less than a year after I had chosen my mum over my father I had to come crawling back to him so i would have a place to live (now almost 14).
    My sis started to hate me though, if we got into a tiny discussion my father would get pissed of and yell for hours. And she would blame it on me, 'cuz everything was fine and he almost never yelled before I moved in.
    I got real depressed, wanted to run away and hopefully get lost in the woods. My mum and step-father got new animals though, three goats. They made me happy every second weeken I visited, and kind of took the thought away from my mum marrying the man I never had liked, and not telling me about it. Still haven't told me, but she knows I know.

    all the time I didn't spend with the animals so far, I spendt either alone in my room or online. Then one weekend when we went to my mum, she just turned when we parked and said; "Oh btws, we don't have any animals anymore" - That sentence is actually what hurts me most of all, she didn't event think i cared. they had killed all the goats, merely on assumptions that one of them might have been sick.

    Then i got a puppy from my dad as a b-day gift 4years ago (turned16), she is the only one I have cried infront of so-far. and she have witnessed most of my dad's yelling.
    My sis couldn't take it and moved out. my parents act like nothing never happened, and that is how I act too. Infront of them and infront of people.
    I can't remember the last time a cried like really, cried. mayeb one or two tears a few times a year up till now.

    the worst part I think, is the acceptance of death, I don't want it. but I know that all living things have to pass at one point and that it's the circle of life and all that. i've lost many people to it, yet I can't feel anything else than acceptance, ain't I supposed to be sad or angry or anything? This is why i don't go well with other people. i can't feel anger, or hate. the best contact and feeling of friendship, is the one I have with Tara right now (dog). And I'm actually unsure if I want to change it.

    rant end xD
     
  2. minime

    minime Well-Known Member

    Your story is very sad. I know someone who is like you. He also does not have feelings for people but because his constant companion growing up was his dog, he says he only cried when his dog died and he could not cry for people. Your feelings are understandable.

    I am sorry you went through all that. My childhood sucked too, and I am still envious of people who had loving, attentive and responsible parents. Thanks for sharing your story :)
     
  3. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you had good experiences with animals, bad experiences with people. Naturally, you'll feel a greater connection with animals and a lesser connection with people.

    You are definitely not the only one like this. You should probably go into some kind of career dealing with animals. Maybe you'll be really happy that way. Work at a horse farm or something? /shrug
     
  4. Terra

    Terra Well-Known Member

    I got lucky. I got accepted to a college (or kind of college), who deal with natural training and breeding of horses and ecological farming. They said I could bring Tara, wich mean i won't have to be afraid of her dying while I'm gone. (she have hip problems, and if it goes downhill fast I might have to put her to sleep).

    I was hoping to work as a therapist for children, by using animals to tell them that they really can do anything. Just being able to brush a horse can make someone feel that they are accomplishing something and giving joy.