Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by xXWhateverItTakesXx, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Ugh...So much shit on my mind..I don't know what to do or how to get it out!! I just want to scream so very loud. I feel so helpless..I always fuck things up..This relationship I have..I will fuck that up I know it. He is THE best thing ever to happen to me and I am SO scared of losing it. He is my only reason I am living and I love him so so so damn much. I never mean to hurt him, or upset him, it just happens. I am so defensive now after all the abuse I have been through and it's so not fair on him :(
    I shout at him for no reason, even when he being the sweetest guy on earth and it breaks my heart. He doesn't do anything to deserve it. I am a stupid useless bitch. Fucking useless.

    Its all been my fault..the abuse and the rape and my fucked up mind and body, all my damn fault. I will die being useless and I will die now I have found the perfect man for me..fucking pills :cry:
  2. neverwanted

    neverwanted Well-Known Member

    You are not useless :arms:

    Does your boyfriend know of your past?
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Yeah..He knows of my past. He knows pretty much everything..

    I am having nightmares and panic attacks again, it's too much :(