i want to post. i want to talk. but i dont even know whats wrong with me so how am i meant to tell other people whats wrong? :blink: my cousin is going to audition tomorrow for Britains got Talent. at first i was annoyed at her because theres areligious mass tomorrow night for all the people that have passed away in the last year and i felt like she was putting singing before her dead nan. now ive seen sense. my nan adored her singing. she even sang at my nans funeral. now all i can think is that meghan (my cousin) is doing something to make nan proud of her...what haev i done exactly??? yeah...im an overweight, suicidal, unable to work, self harming 20 year old. gee, she would be well proud of that!!! :cry: damn i miss her. more than i thought was possible. talking about doing up her grave all nice. want it to be special. so special. she deserves the best. but whats the point? shes not there. shes not going to know what we have done for her is she. yeah, maybe it would make us feel better, maybe not, who knows. all i know is its not going to do the one thing i want it to do....bring her back :sad: i have been such a bitch to someone. fair enough they deserved some of it...but maybe i went too far :unsure: i cant forgive people easily when they hurt someone i love. im sure thats not a bad thing :blink: **** do you know how much u pissed me off earlier? what the hell do you know about how *** is feeling??? exactly nothing! u have nothing to do with her anymore so dont get involved okay! i gotta go doctors tomorrow. i hate going. i feel like he looks down at me when i need a sick note. i hate people stereotyping people for stupid little things!