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random blabbing

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by blabbing nonsense, Jun 6, 2007.

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  1. If anybody knows who this is, I don't care. People will probably recognise my style anyway.

    Yesterday I had a bad day. There were certain threads on this website which triggered me. The threads were not meant to trigger anyone, yet they triggered me. Thankfully, my status on the site is so, that I cannot see one of the threads. But the other one is still there. Very clear. Apparently it's a popular thread. I am happy for those who are happy with the thread, but I ended up burning the shit out of myself, ever single time I saw that thread. Just seeing the title, triggered the shit out of myself. In the end I had a friend ordering me to close the entire browser-window. I don't know what would have happened..
    I dont know what will happen. I dont know what has happened.

    I just know that I have issues which I need to work on.
    And getting all these questions everytime I log into IM programmes aren't exactly helping. "have you done anything today?" , "have you taken care of this and that yet?" , "will you do such and such this week?".
    I do NOT appreciate that. If I want to talk about that sort of stuff, I'll write a rant on this website or ask someone to talk in the chat of this website. This website is the place where I go to if I want to talk about anything related to my mental health condition and stuff, I do not need people on IM programmes and God knows where else to bug me with that stuff. I log into those places to chill out a bit, to relax and to have some fun, not to be questioned as if I'm in a therapy session.

    You (nobody from this site) need to realize that I do NOT appreciate it when you treat me like you are my father. I know you say it all because you care a lot, but for Pete's sake, how many times have I told you to stop talking about all that negative stuff to me. I do NOT want to talk about the negative aspects of my life on IM with you, okay!? That's why I go to this website, I come here because this is the place for me to talk about stuff regarding my mental health and me feeling bad and messed up. I go on IM to relax. If you don't stop I'll go nuts. :sad:
    Just imagine yourself in my place for a second. And imagine it being next week then. How would you feel? You barely sleep, IF you sleep you have to get up early because you have to go to therapy for the day, then you get home, want to relax and chat with friends a bit, so you log on to your IM and first thing you get is "Hey! How are you? Have you done anything productive today? You are gonna go to therapy tomorrow, right?".

    I AM dealing with my shit, whether that be in a good way or 'bad' way, doesn't matter. Point is, I go on to IM to RELAX which means NOT to be reminded of the negative aspects of my life. NOT by you. I have 2 different lifes on internet. One is with this website and everyone from this site.. They know my negative aspects mostly. But I'm NOT going to expand that to you and anyone from other websites.
    That people from this website know the freak in me and how scary I am at times, is already MORE THAN ENOUGH. Don't need YOU or ANYONE from any other site to find that out too. Why do you think I've been staying away from the other forums? because I do NOT want to see myself getting banned or kicked from any other forum as well.

    So that was my little rant for now.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope you are feeling a little better about what is going on after you got it out in the open. Please stay safe hun. :hug:
  3. replyah

    replyah Guest

    I'm sorry that thread hurt you so much, don't like to see people hurt themselves over threads posted here, it should be a place of sanctuary and relative safety. Mind you, I hate censorship as well, and believe in almost limitless freedom of expression, so its a difficult balance to strike. Ya i know who this is...and we've spoken about it, made my feelings clear, I think the thread is a bit inappropriate given the interpersonal histories of some people on this site. I can certainly see how its triggering for you. It doesn't effect me as much anymore. Still, nobody forces anyone to read it, just gotta get up and step away ya. The fact that its popular ain't helping though when you visit that particular sub forum all the time.

    Not sure if you can write a letter to management in your current status, but if you can, you should.
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