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Random friend-related rant

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jimmy10519, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. Jimmy10519

    Jimmy10519 New Member

    Hi, I'm not quite sure whether I should post this here or whether I should be on here at all, but I suppose you can always ignore this if it's not the right place :p

    Basically I have a friend irl who's on here; I'm not going to identify her or anything like that or try and influence your opinions, but basically she lies all the time - she's been lying to me about various things for the last couple of years, since we sort of got to know each other; she's lied about going to see psychiatrists and all sorts, she exaggerates and things like that, there are posts of hers on here in which she's barefaced lying. And I'm well aware that it's a cry for attention but I can't give her the attention - a couple of years ago she asked me in front of my friends which hole in the plug socket was the Earthed one and proceeded to stick my locker key in it in front of me and all my friends. Luckily I told her the right one: I nearly told her the wrong one for a joke. I'm not going to write down everything she's lied about because a) you don't need to know and b) She can probably identify herself from this anyway, but I will say that some of the lies she's told have been directly detrimental to me; I have my own issues as it is which I don't want to discuss here, and the final straw has been that last year she posted on a social networking site that me and all my friends have access to that she was going to kill herself, and, of course, didn't, and it fell to me, being the only one who was still taking her crap, to go out and tell the head of pastoral care at school when she was dilly-dallying over it and refusing to and trying to bemoan the fact to me. Being as it was the middle of exam season... I didn't get good exam results, and am having to resit this year and I think she's to blame. Luckily I've got a really close friend who I've talked to about this who's told me not to take her crap any more, and I'm trying, but... it's got to the point where I don't have a fricking clue what's lies and what isn't , and I do care about her, but honestly? Entirely honestly? I really wouldn't care if she did kill herself now, simply because it would mean I wouldn't have to deal with her. Which is probably an awful thing to say but it's the truth. I want to help her but I don't know how; I'm not prepared to 'be there' for her any more because it's been two years now and me and all my friends have given her ample opportunity to get help, teachers have given her the opportunity, and she refuses to listen to anything we say and carries on refusing to help herself, and it's completely not fair on me or anyone else to have to keep dealing with her. It's not a friendship. She never asks how I'm doing unless it's as a lead-in to talk about herself, or to get a piece of gossip or some such - this close friend of mine, this other friend, it's been floating between us for a couple of years as to whether we should get together as it were, and then this friend not only came in and tried to get between us - which she's still doing now - but she told other people in the group when my good friend and I have been trying to keep it between ourselves. She has also, I believe, tried to insinuate to people about my trasgendered-ness, when I only came out to her by accident and haven't come out to anybody except this good friend yet.

    Basically, I don't have a blooming clue what to do about her, and felt like having a rant a) to get it off my chest, b) to see if she reads it - she doesn't know I'm on here but she PM'd me today asking if she knew me. Obv I'm not expecting feedback at all, so feel free to ignore ;) and sorry for this being so long and rantish. Thank you and goodnight.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You can only do so much. She has to want to help herself, or at least be willing to take suggestions; otherwise, things aren't going to change. As much as you care about her, sometimes you have to take a step back so you can look out for yourself. If she's not willing to reach out for help or take anyone's suggestions, there isn't much more you can do.
  3. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    not friend