random meet

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by asking_advice, Dec 2, 2010.

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  1. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    i dont know why im thinking to meet random guy on the net even i know they just want sex because i know there are no emotions involve.

    my last relationship was 2006. since then i dont have any suitors or guy in my life.

    my question is "why im thinking like this?"
  2. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Are you looking for some form of a relationship regardless of what that entails?
  3. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    no, because i know it is impossible but i want to feel loved by a opposite sex even i know it is only hours and before i had a casual sex when i was in teenage years and i feel bad about it. there are times. im tempted to do it again even i know the consequences :(

    i dont want to do it again
  4. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Please don't do it, especially if it makes you feel bad.

    Start here :) Have a natter with people, it might make you feel slightly better. As far as a personal relationship goes with the opposite sex, it'll happen. Give it time, let yourself find the right person for you. It might take a bit longer, but you won't feel any remorse or ill feelings, and it will last for a very long time :)
    Always look after you, youre the most important person for you. Don't let anyone take advantage of who you are. :hug:

    I gotta bounce out for a tick, so im not dodging your thread in you reply. There are tons of people here who would love to have a natter with you, and who are in similar situations. You're not alone in this, and I can personally say it can get better. Just don't cut any corners for yourself
  5. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    i feel ugly but i dont entertain this feeling. i think this is the reason why i want to meet random guy on the net but im denying it. i dont want anyone to see that im not confident about myself because there are a lot of people in my past. they used my low self-esteem to hurt me.
  6. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    If you are getting no joy at all from meeting people online (which can be VERY dangerous, by the way) then I suggest you don't do it.

    It sounds like you're 'looking for love in all the wrong places'; at any cost.
    That isn't love though, and you know this...
    If you want to feel love of any kind - there is a much safer way to go about it.

    Try volunteering and helping people in need. They will ALWAYS be thankful for it!
    If you don't have any pets but it would be an option to get one - get one. Taking care of a small animal gives many people a feeling of self worth that they can't get anywhere else. Your animal will love you no matter what; and that is something to start with.

    You may want to see a counselor about your self worth problems as well - if you aren't already seeing someone. You ARE worth more than a one night stand with a stranger on the internet and the more times you allow yourself to give into the loneliness and go and 'meet' with someone you don't know - the more times you will be putting yourself in danger, and the less you will like yourself for it.

    It's hard to be alone. It's REALLY hard feeling ugly and being unable to look yourself in the mirror and it's really painful to not feel loved... but having sex with strangers is something that you can never take back.
    Just think about it and try to do what will make you happier - for longer. Even if it will take some work to accomplish.
  7. Tiredofitall

    Tiredofitall Active Member

    It may be a form of self punishment that you perceive is warranted. It may be that you really do long for a worthwhile relationship and just don't know where to look. Or, you may just be really bored.

  8. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Owhr Im sorry to hear that about your past in that way. But what's important is that you are not your past. You can raise your self esteem. These people are worthless for hurting you, and so are their views and opinons. Perhaps it would be an idea to spend sometime with yourself to see and remember how beautiful you are. Regardless of anything, who you are inside is a beautiful person, it's just a matter of realising it. It sounds like your past is clouding your connection to you, and instead of being at calm with yourself, your being hit by the shit of the past.

    I like some of kittygirls ideas. I think not using the net to find someone is actually a pretty strong point. Shes right that it's hard to be alone. But that's what friends are partly for. You can lean on them, and explore your feelings more, so you can deal and cope with them better, instead of being overwhelmed by them, and then feeling like youre trapped down a tunnel with only a limited number of options.

    There's alot more out there then you might be feeling, it's just you might not be able to see them. The more you talk and be honest with yourself, the more you have the possibility to overcome those barriers and see the brighter side of life :)
  9. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    sometimes i dont see the value of myself and i feel hopeless but you are right i cant turn back the time once i sleep again with a random guy.
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