Random mumblings.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Jul 20, 2012.

  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    I often feel like im just going in circles. i feel like shit, so i came here, but then id feel better, so go for a bit. but real life (being such a bitch) just hits me hard and im right back here. I feel like people can only deal with me, if im only words on a screen. Its just the same with the treatments that im goign through. i try so hard, i manage to stop cutting for a while. Something triggers me and i break, i cut again, but really bad. everyone is disappointed in me, i feel like shit myself and fall back down into depression, they change my meds and we start all over again. i dont know how to break my cycles, and i know that my extreme self hatred does not help one bit.... but i dont know what to do about it. i talk to therapist about it, but she never really adresses it strait on. i dont know what to do about it, its jsut driving me crazy> I can even feel myself crashing.... yet what is there for me to do about it. I have t isolate myself or i take it out on others, and when i do that i feel even worse than i was originally or worse than id feel when im isolated... i just feel like im always managing to put myself between a rock and a hard place..... and feeling like the only way to stop the nasty cycles is to finally take everything away.
  2. RFL

    RFL New Member

    I wish I knew how to make it all go away. How to suddenly be whole. Our lives are different but I can feel your pain. I am just words on a screen to you to but with every stroke of the keyboard I am sending you empathetic thoughts and love.
  3. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    For one, I am glad you are still alive.

    You need to find the root cause of your cutting. Is there something in real life that is triggering you so much that you have to cut yourself.

    If so then you need to write it down on a notebook (physical paper notebook not a laptop computer). Then you need to analyse it (the trigger not the notebook). Is the trigger in real life something that can not be affected by you? Is it something that cannot be escape from? Is the trigger some human being which you have no choice but you have to interact with and someone whom you cannot ignore?

    If the trigger is another human being, what motivates that human being to interact with you? Does the human being have no choice in life but to interact with you on a regular basis?

    Is it possible to tell that person to stop interacting with you because you cut yourself everything they interact with you?

    Perform some analysis on your situation and determine what options you may have.