I look at my skin, i see the scars covering me, i know all that is within, the scars are my only beauty. Reading that, you might think me crazy, probabally you will call me a loon, oh how so much i wish you could see, though i doubt that will happen soon. I cant stand much more anyway, the splits in my skin are just the start, i dont think i can really explain the complete and utter shattering of my heart. i try to clean the filth off my soul i forget that there is nothing left to clean i remember when i ysed to be whole before she did those vile things to me. I can never forgive her, nor will i forget not only that, but i cannot bring myself to share, i hate how she could have caused this mess, those two dont see it, but they are such a pair. i whish i could tell CN all of how i feel but she must already be so strong, and at least her problems are real, the pain caused by her mom. im sorry to all for all i do to you, i wish i could change, you all deserve so much better, i just cant figure out how to change, or to do.... im just about ready to write my letters.