random rant

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by soloboy, Jun 21, 2009.

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  1. soloboy

    soloboy Member

    i dunno wot to say 20 from england, life been a bit fucked up the last few years depressions getting steadily worse and now i see no point in keeping it going. i hear stories about old men jumping off bridges and their last words being ' i wish i did this 50 years ago', what is the point in living just for the sake of living wen u no u are destined for a struggle of a life that will never bring true happiness or even anything close.
    i live in a crappy flat i never see family except for 2 people who i would never talk to about anything as were not close enough, wen i say i have absolutely no friends and i mean zero no one on this planet i can meet for a pint or somat. i had brilliant girlfriend for 20 months she ended it last week and she really was all i had going for me. i drink vodka till my liver hurts and then i move on to beer and i smoke way too much weed and cigarrettes. i am a waste of a human life
    i know i hardly had a bad life compared to a lot of peoples no one severe incident but it makes me feel worse because people get through such worse situations with so much more courage and i admire that so much. I gotta be one of the weakest people on the planet. less than 24 hours after me girl left the only person left in the world id call a mate was hitting on her big time and so blatantly and u no wot i did, absolutely nothing, makes me feel sick to my stomach i didnt have the balls to confront. now shes listening to her sister and mates and theyre gonna turn her into a proper little tart and i cant bear to see it happen its kills me cos shes too good for that bollocks.
    i dont know what im doing and why im writing, im not asking for advice im not asking for help im asking for good reasons why people with nowt going deserve to live, surely the rule of nature is the strong survive and the weak deserve to die. i aint made my mind up about nothing but wen i get paid next week im going up somewhere high just gonna sit and think with some drink and see what happens cos right now i just see no point, i dont deserve shit and i cant do anything and im sick of feeling so sick and dont want it to keep getting worse rant over
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Im sorry you are feeling so low please know people do care and i am glad you can come here and rant and let your pain out. I would hope you are on medication to help your depression if not ask your GP to help you find something that will work take care okay people do care
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I hope you letting it all out helped and please come back and write some more if you feel the need to and if it helps you. Hope you are feeling better know. Sending best wishes your way :hug:
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you are feeling this way! Have you sought any professional help for your depression? If you haven't,it's probably worth a shot. I hope talking here has helped you. You're not alone :arms:
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