so,i hate feeling low. im sure everyone does, but idk,lately i have been feeling terrible. i havent said anything earlier,because i felt like it was gonna go away. and i didnt want to burden anyone. pretty sure,that the past two weeks all i can think about is wanting to die.i know im not going to do it.but its all that runs through my mind. pretty sure i want that thought and those feelings to leave me alone. idk why they randomly decidce to show up. makes me really annoyed. sometimes,i wish that i could just have someone that wouldn't be bothered with me.i mean,normally i dont bug people anyways,but it would be nice to have someone that wouldnt blow me off or say that 'they dont have time.' i make time for them,all the time in the world...yet no one can spare me 5-10 mintues? gimme a break. ohwell. hopefully these stops will stop,and things will be okay.i just wonder why are they coming back to me after so long?