Fucking stupid life, going up and down like a rollercoaster, sick of it screwing me over, trying to do as much damage to me as it can, so i gotta do more damage to myself to make things right. I hate this, its not even like its life pulling me back up again each time, im just trying to fight it, and sometimes it works, but then it sinks me again. Right now i don't know what i'm going to do, im just feeling so destructive towards myself, towards everything, im trying to hard to keep it in, because i've got no way out of it short of taking it out on my body again. I can't talk about what i want to do on here. I don't even know what i'm trying to say, just need to say it, just need to get the crap out somewhere. There is no-one at all i can talk to about anything here, and im sick of burdening other people with my shit.