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Rant about Sleeplessness

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The one time in the last few months (like an hour ago) my mums came into my room this late instead of asking why I was up just shouted at me that I was stupid and should really be asleep right now instead of asking why I had clearly been crying for hours. It makes me so i don’t even know like I was sad anyway but even more sad like all that’s changed is I was getting to a point I could be able to sleep to definitely not sleeping and have to keep my small light off which is going to scare me even more. I want to tell how about my fear of death and sleep but she I do t think she’d understand does anyone have any experiences with telling parents about fears around sleep


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I had some fear of sleep when I was a teenager, but I never told anyone about it, I just didn't sleep much. I was convinced that when I died I would be going to hell, and it scared me shitless, and every night, when I got into bed I had nothing left to distract me from this and it would just eat me alive until I passed out from exhaustion, so I came to fear going to bed itself.

It resolved after a while (wont say how long, not sure if it would be reassuring or seriously depressing, and I don't want to give you the latter) so even though I still hate going to sleep I do get a good 4 hours a night now, but that fear of hell never left me, even now I'm still convinced that's where I'm going. I cant really believe in heaven anymore, it just seems like a fantasy, but I sure do believe in hell.

Still, point is, I cant give you any advice on telling anyone, as I never did, but you aren't alone in this, and even though I'm not saying anything helpful, I felt someone should say something.
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