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Empathy Only Rant - Covid is a bum-hole

Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#1
I don't know how much more of this shite I can take. Wales has just announced a 'Firebreak Lockdown', which will basically be the same thing as what we had mid March - nothing open but essential shops, no leaving the house unless it's exercise and absolutely no meeting up with people indoors or outdoors. People are angry and upset because they don't like to be told what to do, or don't want to be isolated again (fair) or are tired of trying so hard to follow the rules and people are just breaking them without consequence to them as individuals anyway. I haven't had a chance to even consider if I believe it's the right thing for the country or if it's going to work, or if it's pointless etc or any of that kind of stuff people like to have the opportunity to share and claim they know the right thing to do, and quite frankly, I don't even think it matters when they've declared this measure with "guaranteed consequence" for those who break it.

My concern is the 40 staff members I've just had to send an email to saying "We will not be open from now until 09/11/20, I do not know if you are getting paid yet because they haven't actually announced a plan for business' that have to shut." I don't even know if I'm getting paid. I don't know if I still have a job because I don't think my company can take paying out 17 days of owed wages to 12 cinema sites with between 40 - 180 staff members in them per site. We're already feeling the pressure of being "last ones standing" and quite frankly, I am very tired of being on a sinking ship (such is life with Covid on this planet). I applied for other jobs only to learn that if I leave, the site for sure shuts because they won't replace/open a hiring process during these times (plus they're looking for excuses to shut my site to be honest, the building they rent off is a bit shit), so I get to decide whether I want to be that guy or not - and also, even if I get the jobs, if it's not a supermarket, it's shut anyways.

My concern is also (as much as I feel like a complete melt for admitting it) is my own mental health, which has, like so many others I imagine, just taken a complete plummet during these times (break up and other petty shite included). I can't go a day without having some kind of breakdown, or self harming or working out so much that something bruises (I guess same thing), eating so much in the space of an hour where I throw it up, often deliberately and then not at all for 11 days out of some kind of fucked up guilt, doctors are particularly unhelpful right now because it's not a priority unless you want to pay and I kinda want to hold on to whatever money I can right now just in case I end up on my ass. I've also come to realise that most of my interactions are work of some kind, always work. Colleagues in my office, my staff, people I meet for photoshoots, museums, magazines - its always a professional exchange. Sure, it comes with a bitch rant about the current climate which is always helpful, but nothing deep and nothing personal. People seem to love me in a professional capacity because I'm so aggressive and consistent about getting everything done and I'm everyone's fave gal. Not so much in personal relationships, I'm just shit at building them. I want to die every day so badly, it's my first thought when I wake up, it plagues me all day and then it's the last thing I think of before I go to bed, and I can't even do that how I want to because I can't fecking travel out of my city anyway.

That's my rant
Covid is a bum hole
 

SillyOldBear

SF grey-haired bear 🐻
Staff Alumni
#2
I share your rant Lux. Some stuff I hear on the radio says all these people are not dying of Covid, but of underlying conditions that would have killed them anyway. Have no idea if that is true. I hear that masks are a joke and don't help at all. Don't know if that is true. Trump says we are nearing the end. I don't believe that at all. Biden has said he will shut the whole country if need be. Don't know if I can vote for him. Because I do know that shut downs are destroying economies and lives. Mental illness and suicides are soaring. Businesses are closing permanently. The only reason millions have a place to live is because of the banning of evictions. But that can't last forever. Then homelessness will soar. Chicago is talking about raising property taxes $94 million dollars to make up a shortfall. Well its the damn shut downs that are causing the shortfalls and citizens don't have the money to make up for it. Still cannot worship inside my church because of 'guidelines'. So we sit in our cars and freeze during parking lot sermons. Americans don't like to be told what to do either. I suspect a rebellion is coming.
 

alixer

We are all one
SF Supporter
#3
I don't know how much more of this shite I can take. Wales has just announced a 'Firebreak Lockdown', which will basically be the same thing as what we had mid March - nothing open but essential shops, no leaving the house unless it's exercise and absolutely no meeting up with people indoors or outdoors. People are angry and upset because they don't like to be told what to do, or don't want to be isolated again (fair) or are tired of trying so hard to follow the rules and people are just breaking them without consequence to them as individuals anyway. I haven't had a chance to even consider if I believe it's the right thing for the country or if it's going to work, or if it's pointless etc or any of that kind of stuff people like to have the opportunity to share and claim they know the right thing to do, and quite frankly, I don't even think it matters when they've declared this measure with "guaranteed consequence" for those who break it.

My concern is the 40 staff members I've just had to send an email to saying "We will not be open from now until 09/11/20, I do not know if you are getting paid yet because they haven't actually announced a plan for business' that have to shut." I don't even know if I'm getting paid. I don't know if I still have a job because I don't think my company can take paying out 17 days of owed wages to 12 cinema sites with between 40 - 180 staff members in them per site. We're already feeling the pressure of being "last ones standing" and quite frankly, I am very tired of being on a sinking ship (such is life with Covid on this planet). I applied for other jobs only to learn that if I leave, the site for sure shuts because they won't replace/open a hiring process during these times (plus they're looking for excuses to shut my site to be honest, the building they rent off is a bit shit), so I get to decide whether I want to be that guy or not - and also, even if I get the jobs, if it's not a supermarket, it's shut anyways.

My concern is also (as much as I feel like a complete melt for admitting it) is my own mental health, which has, like so many others I imagine, just taken a complete plummet during these times (break up and other petty shite included). I can't go a day without having some kind of breakdown, or self harming or working out so much that something bruises (I guess same thing), eating so much in the space of an hour where I throw it up, often deliberately and then not at all for 11 days out of some kind of fucked up guilt, doctors are particularly unhelpful right now because it's not a priority unless you want to pay and I kinda want to hold on to whatever money I can right now just in case I end up on my ass. I've also come to realise that most of my interactions are work of some kind, always work. Colleagues in my office, my staff, people I meet for photoshoots, museums, magazines - its always a professional exchange. Sure, it comes with a bitch rant about the current climate which is always helpful, but nothing deep and nothing personal. People seem to love me in a professional capacity because I'm so aggressive and consistent about getting everything done and I'm everyone's fave gal. Not so much in personal relationships, I'm just shit at building them. I want to die every day so badly, it's my first thought when I wake up, it plagues me all day and then it's the last thing I think of before I go to bed, and I can't even do that how I want to because I can't fecking travel out of my city anyway.

That's my rant
Covid is a bum hole
I saw the news and thought of you. I don’t know what to say other than there are no great options and you have a lot on you. Please please take care of yourself. No matter what happens you don’t deserve any physical harm.
 

Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#4
I share your rant Lux. Some stuff I hear on the radio says all these people are not dying of Covid, but of underlying conditions that would have killed them anyway. Have no idea if that is true. I hear that masks are a joke and don't help at all. Don't know if that is true. Trump says we are nearing the end. I don't believe that at all. Biden has said he will shut the whole country if need be. Don't know if I can vote for him. Because I do know that shut downs are destroying economies and lives. Mental illness and suicides are soaring. Businesses are closing permanently. The only reason millions have a place to live is because of the banning of evictions. But that can't last forever. Then homelessness will soar. Chicago is talking about raising property taxes $94 million dollars to make up a shortfall. Well its the damn shut downs that are causing the shortfalls and citizens don't have the money to make up for it. Still cannot worship inside my church because of 'guidelines'. So we sit in our cars and freeze during parking lot sermons. Americans don't like to be told what to do either. I suspect a rebellion is coming.
*hugthank you for taking the time to reply, I feel so isolated and drained atm.
I'm sorry things are a crock of shite where you are too, I thought of just moving somewhere today but I can't actually think of somewhere in the world that seems mildly alight at the moment. I guess that should be some kind of comfort but it's very depressing. Love you Barb.

You know where I am if you need a vent.
 

Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#11
Whats the update 2 weeks later @Lux
Hey Fish,
So we're apparently coming out of lockdown on the 10th, but still with some restrictions. I don't know if this means I will be working or still have a job yet.

With England entering a month long lockdown on Thursday, and the Welsh sites for my company only making up 5% of revenue, it's likely we won't open (cinema) alongside with England because it costs to get movies in etc and won't be worth it. Gov is stumping up 80% furlough for England, I don't know if this carries over to Wales because technically we should be allowed to open.. and I know the company won't pay us because they can't afford it so yeah, if the furlough doesn't extent... very possible goodbye to job.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#12
Ugh that stinks. We are on a lockdown in our region but the restaurant industry is mixed up about it. And elections is tomorrow this country is really divided into half due to this covid thing. Hope someone comes out with vaccine sooner than later so our jobs/lives can go back to normal
 

Lux

Outrageously Awesome
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#13
Update, just had to tell my staff there's no work until 2nd of December because of English lockdown. They're getting furlough pay but it's still only 80% of average hours, and for a lot of them, it's only 4 - 10 hours because they work less during this time of year because of Uni.

They know it's what they signed up for, but with us being closed for the whole of Summer, and then the busiest part of October, they don't have any buffer to make up for it where they'd normally do 40+ hours.

On top of that, so many people telling me "damn, I wish I had a break like that but I have to keep working!", piss off. It's not a break, it's not something anyone wants and was not something we had a choice in. 80% is better than nothing but if it's not what you're used to relying on to pay your bills and stuff it's life ruining.
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#14
On top of that, so many people telling me "damn, I wish I had a break like that but I have to keep working!",
People who trot out that line have no fucking idea of sense, particularly during these current times. It's obvious they havn't a damn hell clue of the bigger picture. Here's an idea, swap jobs with those who trot that line out or keep it buttoned and fuck off whilst doing so.
 

SillyOldBear

SF grey-haired bear 🐻
Staff Alumni
#17
The county my church is in just posted 214 new cases in one day. Church will not reopen until we hit 75 per 100,000. They complain that there is too much transmission in homes. WHAT THE HELL DO THEY WANT US TO DO. Pitch tents in the bloody backyard. Families share homes. Get real people.
 

Sunspots

Pffffeckn amazin
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#18
That's really tough @Lux *hug

My daughter has just lost the zoo keeper job she was due to start this week. They don't think they'll be able to afford to take her on even when they're allowed to reopen as they've lost so much money this year.
 

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