Rant. (Naughty Words)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Shadowplay, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. Shadowplay

    Shadowplay Staff Alumni

    Once again We have reached the inevitable truth of the matter.
    I hate everything about myself, because I am nothing. I truly am in every sense of the word, a WASTE. I sit around days doing jack shit, I should be more attentive but knowing me, am I? FUCK NO. I am stupid and useless. I really am fucking stupid as shit, so fucking stupid that I lose EVERYTHING. Once I lost a broom in my apartment, as in it took me at least a half an hour to find it. I truly and honestly am a fucking retard. As if that weren't enough, I also FAIL at everything I do, which brings us back to me doing nothing, now this leads to boredom, which in my case lead to me getting fucked up. How awesome, huh?
    Now in all fairness I haven't put any intoxicating substance into my body for almost a week, but you know what? I fucking hate being sober. at least when I'm fucked out of my head I don't have to think about what an absolute piece of shit I am. things are fun, and happy. Thats the person I want to be the person who loves life, a happy positive person. This is not who I am though. I am a negative fucking loser. A ZERO. I just suck at life. Its as simple as that.
    No one will ever want anything to do with me once they get to know me. So I do my best to pretend everything is A ok, when in reality I'm fucking screaming at myself inside my own head.
    I suck and I wish I was dead.

    Love,
    Kurt
     
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member


    I would still like to know you even if you think i don't. You can pretend all you want in being A okay..but at least I know that it's a facade some of the time. I don't think you are a loser, or a waste, and I don't wish youwere dead. I've told you that a million times I would love to meet wiht you and chat, just sit and talk even if it's about nothing. Please be safe Kurt, you are not a waste, even if you dn't have a job etc. you are still a special and talented person that if you want to you could go far with your music. :hug: be safe hun and Im hear if you just need to rant at someone.
     
  3. immure

    immure Account Closed

    sounds like ur caught in the spiraling vortex of addiction.
     
  4. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Let me tell you this, i still fucking love you, i wish i wasnt such a fucked up with a low self esteem and a fucking wuss. Otherwise I would love to meet you. You're such an incredible, wonderfull, beautifull, amazing person and so much more.
    I hope you can just be honest to me, just tell me when its not ok, you can scream to me, you can say whatever you want, might hurt, doesnt matter, i wanna be there for you, i can handle it.
    I wish you could see yourself like i do, i wish you didnt hate everything yourself, you're not nothing, you're not a waste, you're not stupid, you're not useless, you're not a retard.
    I can understand why you're bored, because you dont do a lot. But you're not a failure. Please think in a few weeks, you hopefully found a job, you're somewhere else, you will be doing things again. I'm sure everything will work out ok. It will be hard and new again in the beginning, know you can do it.
    And please stay of the drugs. Sometimes some weed is ok, you're doing so great, see you're not a failure, what you've been through shows a really strong person.
    I love every bit of you, when you're ok, when you're happy, when you're down, when you're high, it doesnt matter. I will be always here for you, please dont forget that.
    love
    Julie