rant, rant, rant

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by FoReVeR LoSt, Aug 17, 2007.

  1. FoReVeR LoSt

    FoReVeR LoSt Well-Known Member

    This is a rant, samy's rant...are you ready for samy's rant? because samy's not ready for you...i'm scared, i'm lost, i feel like i'm dieing on the inside. Everytime i talk to Ester on msn, it makes me miss her even more than i already do. The way that she smiled, the way her eyes lit up when she came home and saw me. Everything about her, i miss her!!!! The only reason i haven't gone nuts and tried anything is because i've been smoking a lot more pot and drinking more and more. I need to stop i know, but grrrr :mad: I wake up in the morning and just try to tell myself that i'm one day closer to seeing her again, but somedays i forget and then the pot helps me forget even more. I'm happy for the amount of time i'm high and i'm getting use to it, meaning i'm high 60% of the time. I get more panic attacks, i'm not as active as i use to be, everything is going downhill and i don't know how to stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck this is so hard, i don't know what to do. i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
     
  2. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    :hug: Smoking too much pot can cause panic attacks...you feel like your heart is beating too fast or not at all. Maybe you should slow it down a bit? Just a suggestion.
     
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

  4. If you love her that much, you have to hang on. She'll be there for you every step of the way. Things can really improve. Please hang in there, you are loved. :hug: