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Rant, rant.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Zueri, Aug 7, 2013.

  1. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why my motivation is shot. I feel tired and all I really want to do is sleep, eat, and not leave the house. I think I’m mortally afraid of failure. I constantly try to live up to this vision of perfection that I have for myself. I always fall short, and subsequently hate myself for it. It sucks.

    I’ve been drinking like crazy for quite a while. I need to break out of this, and fast. Seeing people feels like a chore. I hate everything and probably should admit I’ve been having suicidal thoughts for a while, and I don’t know why. Instead I keep forcing myself to function.

    Stayed home from work today. This can’t happen again.

    I hate how I can rationally explain what’s happening to me right now, and I feel powerless to stop it. I guess you can say I’m falling apart a little.

    Fuck. Me.
  2. I am feeling the same way. I'm smoking too much bud, I fill my day by smoking weed and watching netflix because I'm tired of never catching a break, and getting the door slammed in my face when I look for a job. I feel like the longer I'm stuck in this lull the less likely I'll ever be happy. The vision of my ideal future i had when i graduated high school seems to be decaying as my lows keep fucking up my plans to try and make things better. Suicide honestly seems the easier answer, but i'm gonna keep trying for those around me. Good luck, I'm gonna try to stop smoking for a while to clear my head.