rant to my parents (ignore)

Discussion in 'Let it all out...' started by thedeafmusician, Aug 16, 2006.

  1. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    gee you COULD at least PRETEND that you care even a LITTLE bit about my life. I may as well not have a dad for all the good it does. you dont know anything about me anymore, you probably couldnt even tell me the name of my two best friends, or what sports I play at school, or even what my favourite colour is. you didnt even know that my other best friend just moved to perth, and thats just sad, seeing as i only mentioned it a couple of hundred times.

    i'm still angry at the both of you - i dont know if either of you know that or not... but i am. You both think I've moved on... and to an extent i have i guess, but then again, i havent. the both of you never talk to each other, even when things ARE 'normal'. its no wonder that the both of you are at each others throats all the time - lack of communication. i wish that the both of you could see that. i wished that the first time when i realised it... two years ago i think it was now... and you still dont see it now. i may as well give up hope that you'll ever see this and just be resigned to this whole thing that just goes around and around in circles.

    it gets nowhere... its getting me nowhere having to be ur therapist mum. I'm a teenager, wtf do you think i can come up with? and so i've seen a lot - that was only because of all the stuff you made me see. i've had to take it all in and try to accept it and try to get used to it and not judge you and dad to both your faces for it - which is more than i can say for you. you find out that i cut, and you even fucking RESEARCH it, and then all that you can come up with for me is to 'just stop it already, (my name here), get over it and snap out of this.'

    so of course i'm angry at the both of you - its a perfectly reasonable reaction dont you think? and also if i hadnt written this down i would have probably just exploded at the both of you so you had better consider yourselves lucky.

    and lastly mum... if i should even call you mum anymore. you tell me i may as well stop calling dad 'dad', because he's not been acting as my dad. i'm wondering... should i do the same for you? because i've pretty much become your mum, and for the last i dont know how long... i've basically been the only person thats looking after me. something to think about, isnt it? you're my mum, please act like it. i dont want your friendship right now, i'm a teenage girl in need of a mum. one that is actually there, and one that isnt going to judge me.

    and dad..... im begging you please....... just be there for me ONCE, or say sorry to mum and actually mean it, just ONCE and i'll be happy. please?
     
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I know exactly how you feel hun, maybe you can relate to this:

    Silently

    silently whispering
    hoping they won't hear
    but yet she wants them to
    she wants them to care

    silently hiding
    hoping they won't see
    but yet she misses them
    wants them to see

    silently hoping
    for them to be nice
    when they get back
    instead of cold as ice

    silently wishing
    they wouldn't exist
    but yet, without them
    she couldn't live.


    Too much to ask

    Am I asking too much of you?
    Am I really too hard on you?
    Or is it you?
    Are you giving too little?

    Why do you always make me wonder
    If it's my own fault?
    Is life supposed to be this hard?

    Can't you see I wouldn't be like this
    If you'd give me what I need?
    Is it really too much to ask,
    to get some affection?


    anyway if you need a talk about it or anything, you know where to find me

    :hug: *HUGE HUG FOR YOU* :hug:
     
  3. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Thankyou Ishtar... and yes... I can definitely relate to those two poems... I like them both, especially Silently. Did you write those yourself? :hug:

    TDM
     
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    yeh I've written them myself.

    How are you doing now? Still feeling like that? or is the situation better yet? :hug:
     
  5. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    I'm okay... I guess. Its better and worse at the same time. Now DAD is the one trying to reconcile (which is a first) although it'll take some time before either of them talk to each other again. They were yelling at each other for a lot of last night... so I didnt come online. Mum talks about maybe separating Dad... its just talk though. I'm not sure that that is really going to happen, but knowing Mum you can never know for sure. And yes as always I'm still looking after myself... or well sort of.

    Big :hug: s to you, Ishtar.

    TDM
     
  6. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    sorry for the delay to my reply, but know that you can always, and I really mean ALWAYS pm or email you. I'll be there for you hun. xxx :hug: