Rant!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by frizziidizzle, Oct 12, 2008.

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  1. aaaaarrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhh i need to vent arrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
    this morning it was sunny... i went out with some friends to cover a st john ambulance duty... on the way back it was so hot and sunny in the car... i sat in the back and felt the light and warmth on my face while i read 'The road less travelled' - M.Scott. Peck. i never felt so warm.. calm and relaxed and comfortable in my surroundings.. i wanted to hold on to it.. but as the day gets more in.. i start to feel slightly down.. and the warmth and calmness dissapear.. i just wanted a hug and to hold on tight to someone and cry my heart out.. but i held it in and went for a run.. i am now sitting on my bed typing this... my best friend is so helpless and down... i HATE being do afr away and not being there to sit with her... we both feel shit and we both need each other so much.. i couldnt do it with out you Tonie.. Emma is what you live for.. I live for you.. im starting to feel uneasy..i know when i am cause i start listening to depressing music..i can start to feel the 'perception of happiness' leaving my body as the sun is now darkness.. i am going out in 1hr 20mins to drink myself silly.. will probably end up in hospital with alcohol poisening AGAIN..it has taken me 3:48secs to write this.. i started just as biffy clyro - mountains started playing.. well i best go but AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG anyways lufs ya Tonie...xx
     
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hey there..

    Hope you feel a little better now you've got that out :) :hug:
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Do me two favors, Stay in a group of people you know, and don't drink so much. It's one thing to drink to get a buzz, and another to drink so much you end up in the hospital. You will find you have a lot of support here on the forum!!! Use us!! Get a little buzz then come home and talk to us. The more you tell us about yourself the more advice we can give you!! Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  4. grrrr guess not... im sorry guys i just got cancelled on...im sorry everything just seems to go wrong :'( why...:'( no i do not feel any better!!! i feel worse...
    :unsure::lost::blub::anyone::argh::brainfart:eeek::please::WTF:

    WHY AM I STILL HERE!!! IVE HUNG AROUND FOR TOO LONG!!!
    :blub:
     
  5. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    you sound very depressed. drinking won't solve anything. its temporary and then you have to face life again hang' overed. been there. talk to folks here.
     
  6. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, how are you feeling now? Did you go out? Hope you got home safely. It's hard when your nearest friends live far away and I'm sure they probably feel as bad as you about the distance. When will you see her next? I know it's not as good but could use phone, internet and e-mail in the meantime.

    As a sidenote - I provide first aid at public events with the Red Cross. It's nice to meet someone here who does a similar thing. :) We had a very large event just recently and we worked hand in hand with St. John's throughout the week and you guys were great.

    Feel free to PM me if you wanna chat anytime. :hug:
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Frizzi,
    That is part of depression. You feel good one minute and the next you are really down. It doesn't take much to trigger the negative thoughts. I also find it affects my thinking.
    After three years of therapy I still am battling depression. All you can do is take baby steps and set short term goals to help you turn those negatives into positives!
    You need to tell yourself when you are down that you aren't going to feel this way and put those thoughts behind you.I also use my coping skills to help battle the thoughts. Well I hope just a little that some thing here helps you!!!Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am wondering about how you are doing. Y ou mentioned that when you are down you listen to sad music. That is something many of us do, but maybe we shouldn't. If you want to improve things, do something to alter it. Instead of sad music, listen to more upbeat things. We often make the mistake of pushing ourselves deeper by the choices we make while feeling that way. Something to ponder over.
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Gentle Lady. You can use music to help yourself feel better. I listen to alot of rock n roll, and alot of the new stuff from Saliva, Nickleback, Puddle Of Mudd, Nirvana,Staind, and alot more. I will either crank it up or I will wear my head phone to try to help me escape from the thoughts. It is a positive way of dealing with the thoughts!!Stay Strong!!!~Joseph~
     
  10. thank you for all the messeges guys... really helped i am glad you are there..
    thanks again
    x
     
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