Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by usrm2d, May 31, 2009.

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  1. usrm2d

    usrm2d New Member

    I'm not sure where to begin... so perhaps, i'll just spit it all out.

    I'm Steve. I am 20 years of age, i am married, expecting my first child, unemployed, and an alcoholic. As of late all i can think about is how am i going to be able to support a child when i can barely afford to support myself due to lack of employment and my addiction.

    With these thought's brewing my mind begins to race and my heart beat rapidly..my stomach turns and i feel uncontrollable rage. This rage generally goes into two directions.

    I feel as if life for everyone would be alot better without me around and how easy it would be to just bleed myself out in the bathtub.

    I also feel like going out and getting belligerently drunk and just beating the ever living shit out of someone.

    Now, i'm unsure what do to.. more so than latter i feel the need to just hurt myself but i feel that's unfair to my family and i'd hate to do anything that would make them hate me.

    Family = Love

    Love = Happiness

    Happiness = Family

    See the equation?

    If anyone has any advice i'd be more than happy to accept it! thank anyone for taking the time out of their lives to read my pitiful little rant.
  2. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi Steve and welcome to the forum. From reading your rant the big question it throws up for me is why do you feel so angry. I think you would do well to look into this. It may explain why you need the booze. You have a child on the way and that kid is going to need you. I know that can be a real scary prospect and most of us haven't a clue how to cope with such things but somehow we muddle through. I know when my daughter was born I went through every emotion in the book but the overwhelming feeling was one of intense love like I had never known before. I wish you all the best and if ever you need to chat pm me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
  3. tranceadikd

    tranceadikd Member

    I have sent you a PM


  4. usrm2d

    usrm2d New Member

    Thank you both for your concern. I will and shall look into my unbridled anger.

    Stay Cool Ghouls.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You should get yourself in AA.. You need to stop drinking because it is a depressant..That is probably why you feel the way you do.. I am an alcoholic also and have been sober for twenty some years.. The only time I drink is on the holidays but even then I only have a couple of drinks..Lashing out at others is the wrong thing to do.. It will land you in jail.. Depending how bad it is you could end up with a felony charge.. Employers won't want you if you have a felony.. You see how it can snowball on you..Think about it o.k.?????
  6. usrm2d

    usrm2d New Member

    I'll think about it for sure. Thank you, Stranger.
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