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Wheeee Hahahaha. My mom, yet again, tried to commit suicide and how she's in the fuckin hospital. Like mother, like daughter. HAHAHAHAHA. Everything is suddenly so funny I could laugh myself to death. Hey- no, she wasn't suicidal, she just got a stroke from laughing too hard! HAHAHA! We live in such a wonderful world, don't we? A world sooo full of opportunities and smiling people everywhere! Hey God, are you happy up there? Things working out for you? Throwing a fuckin party up there, are you happy, you omnipotent demonic bitch? Ladeeladeedum. So, who's gonna miss me if I'm gone? Nobody. Mom will probably kill herself, see you in hell, mommy. And the rest will mourn but get over it. Hey, let's play a game! I'll get the jack knife and you get the ax, and let's see who goes first! It'll be fun, I promise! :smile:

So So Sooo So SO SOSOSOS SOoooo GOd, God god gawd goddie goddie god god, GooooooooD GOOOOOOOD, do you even exist? JEsUs YeShua MesSiaH I want to see Pastor Tim I want to see Natalie I miss them so much I want to see them oh god I wish I could see them just one more time FUCK THIS WORLD FUCK THIS SHIT I wish they were my parents it'll go like this:

Me: Hey, Pastor Tim! Natalie! I haven't seen you guys in such a long time! How's Anaise?

Natalie: Anaise is fine! How have you been, Vivian?

Me: Oh, I've been fine. You guys still on that missionary trip?

Pastor Tim: Yup, we'll be leaving in a day or so.

Me: ... Oh...is that right...um...can I ask you guys something?

Them: Yes, what is it?

Me: Can I leave with you? Please?

Them: (Shocked Silence)

But after a while they'll finally agree and I could live with them- we'll travel the world! Go on dangerous missionary trips to Iran and go with Pastor Tim to the army and see him preach and go with Natalie to her apartment in NY and later maybe even go to Africa and feed the starving children and give them color books and sometimes when we're on break we'll go to Sizzlers like we used to do and blow a lot of cash and they'll love me like I was their own daughter. HAHAHAHA yeah, right. That's never going to happen. I wish I had a mom that'll wake me up each morning with a smile and when I go into the kitchen for breakfast, guess who'll be there- a dad! And mom and dad will talk happily with each other and say things like, "I love you, honey." and they won't ever fight, just get into small arguments but later make up and I wish I was an only child so they could spoil me rotten and shower me with affection haha pretty selfish, huh? And then afterschool mom will be there to greet me and ask me, "How was school, sweetie?" And I'll say, "School was great, mom!" Dad will be at work but come home later and we'll all sit down at the table like a real family and have dinner, talk about our day, and at christmas, we'll actually get a christmas tree, invite relatives and friends and have a great time. And on my birthday, they'll throw me a birthday party and give me wrapped presents and I'll be like, "Awww, you shouldn't have, mom, dad," but they'll just laugh and say I deserved it and on summer we'll go on vacations to Hawaii or Europe and have a great time and they'll always care about me and never yell at me and we'll all be one, great, happy family. And they'll come to back to school night with me and talk with my teachers, and my teachers will say, "Your daugther has been doing very well! She's a pleasure to have in class- always participating, always cheerful and happy! Her academic record is excellent!" And mom and dad will say, "Oh, we're so proud of you, honey!" ANd every Sunday we'll go to church and we'll be a christian family. Life will be good, I'll have a future, I'll have loving parents, I'll be content, and I'll be happy, I won't be suicidal, and each day will be a bright and happy day.
I'm sorry things aren't goig as you'd like them too....sometimes things just happen weird..one of lifes mysteries...Try and take care....if you ever need to talk you can PM me anytime at all..my PM box is always completely open for you hun. And I hope letting all that out makes you feel atleast a little better.... :hug: :hug: :hug:

~Carolyn :)
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