Actually had what I thought was a miracle week last week in terms of positive energy/good vibes and unfortunately whenever I have that it seems to be followed by a massive downturn. I've had chronic fatigue for 2 years, whilst my symptoms seem to be far less heinous than some stories I've heard on the web (like complete disability) its still something that my livelihood seems to be near enough crushed when its at its worst. I don't think I'm one of the more naturally gifted/talented people but one trait of myself that I've always been rather fond of is my energy or passion levels. Even when I initially got depression I was able to pull myself out of it because of my ability to pour my passion/energy into something I liked doing and be captivated by it. It was never so much that I could get rid of depression but I could distract myself entirely from it to the point it could become a non-factor. At the moment chronic fatigue just seems like an immovable object and it feels like for me personally it has almost no counter. I can't do nothing because inactivity seems to bring out the worst in my depression and does not aid in my energy levels but do the slightest bit too much and I feel like I need a week in bed. Im working 5 days a week at the moment in retail, I think this is far more than the average chronic fatigue sufferer can cope with, so for that I'm grateful that I am able to near enough cope with it. But it feels like I have no life outside of work at the moment, all my energy is drained by the time I get home and my weekends seem to be devoted to recovery days. If I had some sort of timer on when this chronic fatigue were to last I don't think I'd be bothered whatsoever. But I'm 25 now, when I was younger I would make daily youtube videos alongside school, when I was older I would travel to tournaments for a game and found consistent and marked improvement. Now I feel like I am working towards nothing and accomplishing nothing and my chronic fatigue only seems to fluctuate even more drastically. I did make things worse for me I'll admit, after reading online that smoking weed was a good way of relaxing your body with MS and making the symptoms less harsh to deal with. This led to me smoking far more than was healthy for my mind and I had a pretty severe wave of anxiety and a nervous breakdown. Up until the breakdown it felt extremely calming and beneficial for me to smoke it, I just went massively overboard on the amount and it took a few months even to get over the negative mental effects. I just found finally having something that lessened the burden of chronic fatigue made me feel like I had some sort of power over it, I think thats the main frustration I have with it, there doesn't seem to be some hidden way of combating chronic fatigue I think it is mainly a test of patience/willpower more-so than anything. But having such a radical switch in energy levels from what I had previously, cant help but make me suffer from that feeling of grass is greener on the other side. I know what I was capable of, I know what I achieved socially and mentally and now I am capable of so little. It is extremely difficult for me to reconcile with those feelings of inadequacy. I know this was a rather open-ended rant, didn't really have much of a point or potential solution for the time being, I just really needed to get stuff of my mind before I work another shift or I'd probably lose my marbles.