Ranting about dumb stuff

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SaidDave, Jan 15, 2010.

  1. SaidDave

    SaidDave Banned Member

    I dislike my parents. Well, my mother is okay. My dad is a douche. Even more when he's drunk. He talks shit and threatens people including me. He acts like nothing happened. I see him the same way you see ants before you step on them.

    He used to beat my mother up and other shit. I remember him getting a gun out and telling my sister that the house better be clean or he will shoot my mother. When I started the first grade he used to get really pissed at me because I couldn't tie my shoes and threatening me that I would be hurt if I didn't know how to tie my shoes by the time I got home. He also got pissed because I didn't know any Spanish. Well, if you taught me I would know some, jackass. When I was in the 4th grade I was stabbed in the hand by my best friend. Lawl! I laugh because I was kinda being a douche. Anyways, he showed up later that night all drunk trying to teach me how to fight and telling me to hit him and all that shit. I was nervous and didn't want to hit him. He kinda pushed me a little. What an idiot. Recently he threatened to beat me up because I hung up on him for talking shit. I was at a friends and he wanted to give me money. He asked what I was doing. I was doing homework. He said "I don't give a shit. Get over here and get the money.". The next day, I was at the gym with my friend and my dad asked if I was going to go over that day. I said I don't know because I'm at the gym. He said "you're not going to be some kind of Arnold." I hung up on him and started leaving threatening messages on my answering machine. Like "I'm going to go over and kick your door down and kick your ass." "Don't make me go looking for you." "I'm on my way. Get ready.". What kind of person his sge says shit like that? Fucking stupid!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say welcome and understand your anger When you dad speaks like this your doing the right thing hanging up walk away from that enviroment.
    It is not him being a jackass it is the alcohol in him and his offerings of money is a way to maybe control you or maybe say he is sorry. Alcohol ruins many families i a sorry it has affected yours. Maybe one day your dad will reach out and get help for himself but staying away from his environment is a good thing.
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Wow, just read this and didnt realize how long it got. Sorry. But this is so close to home for my kids and me. Please take what you can from it. Again sorry it's so long. Basically just trying to let you know, you arent alone.

    Your dad needs help big time. He has anger and control issues. Then throw in the booze and he is toxic to everyone around him. He will put you down as a way to try to keep your selfworth to zip. He will threaten physical abuse as a way to keep you humbled. He will offer money as a way to keep you drawn in. All so that it keeps you broken and under his control.

    And he will not get better. Not on his own. He needs a good swift kick in the ass to get him to open his eyes. If he's one of the lucky ones. There are some that even when that happens, they still refuse to see. And it costs them the only people that would of loved or respected them. They die very old lonely people.

    And I dont really know how you go about it. I know because my now ex is the same as your dad. After about 20 years of dating and marriage I left him. I took the children and one day we just left. Her came home to an empty house. But it didnt work. Then family services got involved and he was refused visitation with his own children. That didnt work. He was forced by the courts to take parenting and anger management courses. That didnt work. Unfortunately he will never see. And it's sad because he has 3 wonderful teenaged kids that everyday lose more respect and love for him. He will die a very lonely old man.

    I dont know your situation. If you still live with him or how old you are. But it is certain that you are old enough to know his behaviour is completely wrong and not acceptable to any degree. He is an abuser. And as long as no one calls him on his behaviour he will continue becasue he believes he has complete control. But you cant just walk up to him and call him on it. That will push him complete into control freak mode!!

    If you are underage, you need to talk to someone. Call a teen help line. Or call family services. But you need to talk and get it out. That is the first step. Because once you get it all out you will be able to do what needs to be done without pent up anger and hurt. And you will have some one that also knows. See he gets his "strength" in the fact that no one really knows or sees the situation. He counts on everyone being too scared to speak out. So it continues. Bet when he does go out with the family, he is completely different. People would never believe him capable of such things. But just like any other bully, people start to figure him out, stand up to him and he loses the control.

    I could go on and on cuz your situation is one I'm still battling and my 14, 16 and 18 year old kids. But things have gotten somewhat better since we all took stands and let others know. Drop me a pm if you want. But please, dont let this continue. Your mom knows its wrong too. But she has been in the shit for so long she is afraid and cant see being able to do it on her own. And she fears for you and your sibs if you have any. But you can do something. And when you do the others will follow. Please dont let him keep abusing you like this.

    You are on the right track. Hanging up and not letting him have the upper hand anymore. Refusing to let him manipulate you. I'm proud of the courage you are showing. Keep at it but please talk to someone that can help you to find the help you are going to need. :arms:
  4. johnnysays

    johnnysays Well-Known Member

    Just remember, no amount of fighting or punching can change someone's opinion. You can force them to think or do things in a certain way by using your fist, but they'll hide everything inside and your efforts will be in vain. The change must be genuine. That starts inside. When you grow up and have kids, you'll have to set limits, but you'll have to learn how to do that without resorting to violence.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2010