Ranting...? Well, I guess I kinda feel better.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Unwilling, Dec 11, 2009.

  1. Unwilling

    Unwilling Member

    When it isn't one thing its another, I get a job but I may fail college classes. My GPA is gunna be shit! Why the hell cant I just talk to others about this shit?! It seems like I don't even have the balls when my father asks if I need help or I need to see someone to just say yes. I cant take feeling like a leech. I am sick of the cycle of depression, where it causes me to fail something, and in return makes me more depressed. I just want to be well... I want to be normal. I wish I was the happy successful strong person everyone thinks I am. I don't want to put anymore stress on my girlfriend. I am sick of always having the time for others and their problems and not enough to save myself. I want clear plans and goals for my future, this drifting shit stresses me out way too much. I am sick of sleep being the cure and cause of problems.

    Why the hell to I have to be leagues ahead of everyone around me just to feel like I am even worthy to talk to them?

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It hard to open up to our family but to be honest with your dad is what is needed to stay stable then do it. I always want my child to come to me when help is needed no matter what age thats what us parents are for. Your dad would be hurt to know you didn't come to him for help I hope you can open up to him or someone so you can start healing take care. Give him the choice
  3. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I can relate to a lot of what you are saying here, especially the part about feeling not worthy enough to talk to people. You just have to try and remember that everyone else is just as hungry and in need for human contact as you. If talking to your dad and admitting you need some help is what you need to do to become a bit better, then you should do it, no matter how hard it is. Even if not for yourself, but for your girlfriend. Prioritize things. The most important thing right now is getting help so you can get your life back on track - therefore focus on that and do what it takes to make it happen. Think of how great things could be once you're on the road to feeling better. Keep that goal in mind and don't let things, especially yourself, get in the way of you reaching it.

    I really hope you manage to get the help you need, and good luck to you.
    Do let us know what happens with this. It'd be nice to hear how it turns out.