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- Ranting -

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Marshmallow, May 14, 2007.

  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Why is my head so fucked up right now?
    Why am i so paranoid?
    Why am i finding it hard to trust certain people?
    Why can't i believe what they say?
    Why do i wanna drink all the time?
    Why do i drink and take my med's at the same time?
    Why do i think i know what i want but to scared to admit it?
    Why do they have to feel that way?
    Why do i have to feel this way?
    Why can't this be easier?
    Why can't i die?
    Why can't i go through with it?
    Why do i wanna take more pills right now?
    Why do i keep getting triggered by everything?

    i'll tell you why, cos i'm a complete fuck up. Who deserves to die. Who deserve the pain. Who doesn't deserve to feel good, only deserves pain. pain. pain. pain. Who does fuck all right. Who can never make anyone happy and will never make anyone happy.

    I deserve to die.
  2. bloodysunday

    bloodysunday Well-Known Member


    if you must drink, drink with me, talk with me.

    together we are stronger
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: Vikki, you are not a fuck up, and you do not deserve to die. You don't deserve pain, and you do deserve to feel good, everyone does. :hug: I'm here if you need me.
  4. becky82

    becky82 Well-Known Member

    :hug: i may not know you really but i do know that you are a kind, caring person. You are not a fuck up and you do not deserve to feel pain. there are sooooo many people here that care for you me included. If you do need to talk i am here for you :hug:
  5. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    :arms: You are NOT a fuck up. You do not deserve pain. You deserve happiness. :smile:
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    And who has been upsetting ma Viks :dry: :gun:
  7. Freddy

    Freddy Guest

    Sometimes its good to vent and let it all out.

    I pretty much messed up my life in more ways than one.

    Dont feel so bad Vikki people here do care about you.
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Vikki darling,
    I hate seeing you hurting like this and knowing there is nothing I can do. Please remember everything I have said to you, and BELIEVE THAT IT IS TRUE. I am here for you and ALWAYS will be. You dont deserve any of this, you deserve love, caring, understand, all nice things honey...and believe me, you DONT deserve to die :wub: :hug:
  9. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Fuck this. Fuck it all. I wanna do so much shit right now. My head won't stop spinning. Won't stop thinking. Temptation. Temptation in my room. Razor. Pills. Even my window. Lol how easy it would be to jump out of that. Am pretty high up. Temptation next door. Rope.

    I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Why i feel like this. Theres nothing wrong with me! yet i wanna hurt myself SO badly cos i fucking HATE myself and so should everyone else. I'm so fucking close to crying right now. Scrap that :sad:

    People around me hurting and i can't do jack shit to help them. I NEED to die.

    Why can't everyone just let me do that. It's the best for me and everyone else!!

  10. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Fuck this. Fuck me. I'm done. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.

    I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!

    Wanna do so much right now and i don't think i can stop myself. I really don't and you know the fucked up thing about it is that i don't wanna stop myself. I wanna cause as much damage to myself as possible. I don't give a shit if im in hospital or fuck knows what. I'm sick of this shit.

    Sick of my life and i want out!!!!!!!!!!!
  11. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: Vikki.
  12. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug:

    Hope you're doing a lil better now hun :)
  13. missybaby

    missybaby Active Member

    vikki talk to us hun let us know your ok for now.
  14. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Sorry for this :shy:

    I'm feeling better now. Just had a bad few days. Missing meds doesn't exactly help :dry:

    Anyways sorry and i wanna say sorry to Sam for the way i was last night :sad:

  15. missybaby

    missybaby Active Member

    Vikki hun no worries about anything here...we are all here to let out how we feel and sometimes are harder then others to deal with and we are all here to help you deal with yours..

    If you need to talk PM because i might be new here and be fucked up but that doesnt mean that my heart wants to shut you out either and this forum would weep without you in it vikki.hugs
  16. Sakura

    Sakura Well-Known Member

    No need to apologize hon :hug:

    I'm just incredibly glad that you're doing better now :hug:

    (And I promise to be a better bodyguard against da fooo next time XD)

  17. Freddy

    Freddy Guest

    We love you Vikki. No apologies necessary.
  18. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Thankies y'all.

    Loves y'all :hug: