In short, I've been victim of all kinds of domestic abuse for nearly 2 decades since age of 3. I won't go into details....very long story. Been bullied at school (despite being excellent student, good behavior and goodlooking<others tell me I am). Forced to suffer with abusive mother that controls me financially my whole life including now. I have no other 'family' to support me in any way and my 'friends' are jobless. Getting job here is extremely hard and I have no financial means to move away. I'm at an age where ppl just say 'get a job' the same people who ironically are unemployed and/or sometimes ask of me free services instead of paying so I could have some income... She forced me to study what I'm bad at and strongly dislike: law. She calls me lazy, mocks me and once said 'I'd kill myself if I were you' when I just actually have no interest in these studies and have no life of my own to invest in, no reason to bother with anything. Since early childhood I showed strong affinity for drawing/painting and wanted to be self-taught to become concept artist. That's basically ca. 2.000$ to invest in my equipment (wacom + PC) so I can become my own (wo)man . If I'm not worth 2.000$ i dont know what to say. She had so much money at some points she couldn't count it. She forbade me from practiicng drawing at all, attempted to tear apart my work once. Here's proof I'm not lying, works from years ago, because as I said I'm 'forbidden' from practicing (horses were done mostly with no reference): posting brazenly like tis because no links are allowed <Images Removed at OP Request> Camera is lowres- so it looks bad, but as you see I'm NOT lazy, disinterested or depressed. No one ever in this country game a damn about me, the government or ca. 1 million adult inhabitants this place has. I cannot describe the strain and stress I bear studying law. I am soooo tired especially now that I'm facing bar exam. I am not prepared, chances are I'll fail, there's no postponing I have a deadline. Even if I succeed this sh*t goes on. Every time I tried to talk to her about this she goes rabid, attempts to attack me physically, claws at me, I had pics of wounds before, pulls my hair, calls me 'ungrateful bitch' tells me to go whoring myself. Even if I pass I'll be financially controlled by her. She says move away if u dont like it but knows well I have nowhere to go. She always even in childhood threatened to kick me out to live on the streets if I don't do this or that. Except that NOW, she's legally entitled to do so. I am not depressed! I like drawing, singing (beginner), swimming, I like that kind of life, but I'll never have it. I may have wanted to act or cast in a musical, but at this ripe age, I can only hope to play sidekick or main lead's stepmother. My youth has been wasted on withering over some lousy books. My potential suicide is considerably a rational one. My plan is most likely drowning in poopy local river. You can't stop me. If conditions are met I'll do it. My swimming coach will be embarrassed tho. I'm here merely to ask you if you have some financial way out I don't know of, because money is the only thing that ever could fix it. (I bet you don't and I'm stupid for asking)Some kind of scholarship for a person of my critical age, anything... I don't need false flattery, lame quotes, words of hope, 'clever' lines and 'wisdom'. My guts wrench at the sight of this. I'm not emotional, I'm so over this and tired. It's long overdue. You can't tell me I'm weak lived trough civil war, severe abuse and haven't kill myself, but everything has its limits including a miserable subhuman pointless life where my hands are completely tied. The problem is not with me.