raw emotion

I feel over emotional right now
its raw emotion i feel that my whole existence is under threat and its me that is threading it by wanting to kill myself but i cant do anything at the moment because my partner and my niece is here
at the moment am putting up a front because i don't want my niece seeing me like this she will think i have gone mad or something but i don't know how long i can keep from showing my emotions

i cant call any support lines because my cpn has told me that i have to deal with this kinda thing on my own

 

you go out for a run a walk when that raw emotion of sadness pain comes

you treat yourself with kindness a warm tea take a warm bath watch a comedy do something for you okay

Use the skills your therapist has taught you that is what she wants but if you have to youcall crisis okay that is what they are there for.

that way you can tell T what you did to help yourself and when it got too much to handle by yourself you reached out for help.

T just wants to see you using the skills she taught you okay

Take niece out for a treat keep busy okay the raw emotion will pass it always does.

 

I cant go out at the moment because am ill ( sitting in bed at the moment )
might watch some comedy on tv or watch a dvd depending
on what i have ( don't have much comedy )

 

I am sorry you are sick that two will bring raw emotions to the surface. Even a light hearted movie to keep your mind busy okay. I hope you feel better soon

 

Hope your feeling better Reaper, comedies always make me feel better. Have you seen HotTub time machine yet?

 

no i haven't seen that one yet but the next time we rent a dvd ill ask my partner to get it

still not feeling good keep thinking about cutting and death
feel emotional

 

it will give you lots of laughs.

Are you alone, can you call your partner up and tell them how your feeling?

 

i am feeling even more emotional now just had a argument with my niece on the phone about coming back home on time she knows damn well to come back at 8 o clock its now 8 .17 and she is no where near the house but she at the other side of town she wants to go to her mothers but she lives 20 miles away and her mother said that she should wait until tomorrow and my partner had to tell her over and over to come back here but her mother called her and told her to go to hers i feel like she takes me and my partner like fools i shouted at her and told her she isn't aloud back here if she is going to do that

my partner is here with me he is playing his x box and am on the laptop we have talked about my emotions but have no ideas how to express it in a positive way
only thing i can think about is killing myself

 

Kids can be so damn stressful, I get passed this by remembering what it was like when I was thier age, and think of all the stresses and how much we expect out of them these days. Lay the law down.....You will do this or this will happen.

Me and my H has this conversation all the time, he tells me he feels so desperate, like hes failing me. I try to think what it would be like if I was really gone, how much damage would I cause to the few that I do have in my life and it would be a shame because me dying would change anything, actually it would make things worse. I would be leaving my children and H, which would cause them depression and maybe even make them suicidial. Thats something that I never want to do, to anyone. Ive found that Im keeping more and more thoughts to myself because of that.

Unless Im at a danger point, I keep the complaining and the rerun of coversations to a minimial with him. I found there is nothing he nor I can do to change the way that I am. Its something that I have to live with, really whether I want to or not. So I can either sit here and feel sorry for myself and wish I was dead (which takes up alot of time and useless energy) or I can actually try and live this life, the one given to me.

 

Reaper, Hope your having a better day today.

 

Am feeling a bit better today

 

Today is a good day then, glad your feeling better.

 

I to am glad you are feeling better today hope it is a great day