I self harm almost every single day using razor blades. I am making a total mess of my arms and they are extremely painful, but I feel that I can't stop doing it anymore. I have OCD, and I think that I have now developed an OCD with cutting, as well as it being my release for stress, and I'm getting deeper with every day that passes, and I'm scared that my social workers and psychiatrists will put me back into hospital if I carry on. The only thing now is I have this huge desire to take a substantial amount of tablets before I cut to numb my senses, and I know that I'm heading towards suicidal feelings as well. I can't explain how I feel very well, I just know that cutting myself and seeing the blood run down my arms makes me in some way feel more in touch with myself and less pent up.