HE IS MOCKING ME HE IS Socipath He tells them he is afraid to leave me because he is afraid of me and rejection ( the jehova wittnesses ) That I manipulate him and control him. he whole while he is down there saying this he puts on this meek shy demanour( this is why i think he is psychotic ). He told them yesterday that I am "the abuser" in the relationship with his head looking down like he is some kind of choir boy innocent and sweet. He even uses a tone of voice am unfamamilar with. This very low tone, soft. THS IS WHAT AM TALKINGABOUT PEOPLE. Like just the other day as I posted this guy went slamming thingin kitchen because I changed my mind about him making me something that could potieanlly make me feel sicker than I already was. The worse part if he hadn't even mixed the ingredients together yet. So it wasn't like food was wasted. He got mean and snappy with me and ( though not included in post yesterday I was just trying to summarize and place focus on the emotional impact it has been having on me emotionally ( almost pushed me ) I moved out of kitchen when I noticed his irritation level rise quick and he went over to the area I was standing like he was going to do something and then he slammed something not far from where I was standing. He raised his voice at me ect Whats funny is that the house belonged to his mom and is in his name SO IF he is so afraid WHY DOESN'T HE KICK ME OUT or ASK ME TO LEAVE I WOULD HAVE TO. WE haven't been together long enough to be considered common-law marriage. We are boyfriend girlfriend… WHY HAS HE BROUGHT ME BACK TO HIM SENDING TEXTS EMAILS AND BY PHONE TELLING ME OF HIS GREAT LOVE FOR ME AND HOW HE WISHED I HAD NEVER LEFT AND HOW ME WANTED TO WORK THINGS OUUT AND FOR ME TO JUST COME BACK"" SINCE I have been back I have hom recorded saying how happy he is that I came back and that am sweet. Infact eariler yesterday I recorded a conversation we had and am going to do it again today so people know the truth if I ever have to go to court. Why aren't these grown adults holding him accountable for his behavior ( dispute them being slander about me ). You would think they would say you are ""27"" years older than her why don't you ask her to leave ect"" Or hold him accountable for telling me he wanted to get back together ?? He is not a child by any means. But in this meetings he doesn't yell keeps those mood swings in tact and puts on this passive "ephor" that donkey from winnie the pooh act. THIS IS PSYHOTIC AS h**. I have him recorded many time esp since I have been back saying how sweet I am and glad am here and were back together that he still wants to marry me and what such a good heart i have ( lies lies lies ). Then he goes and says stuff like he sais yesterday and has to other friends. In fact i recently asked him on tape if he had ever bad mouthed me to friends HE LOOKED DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID NO I LOVE YOU I WOULD NEVER DO THAT WHO WOULD DO STUF LIKE THAT" THen yesterday me sitting on the steps listening to him telling these people I can't break up with her she is manipulating me to stay with her. I supposedly control him lolololololo lololololololololololoololololoolololololololo………… I can't even say what I really feel to him 99% of times and the 1% when i do I get yelled at that am abusing him. oH YES because Him acting out of control or lying to me ( imagine that this little delicate innocent flower that was sitting in the living room al meek and "self controlled" lying let alone slamming things) - Like he just did YESTERDAY !! So CAN someone tell me who is the abuser, I don't even yell at him no matter how nasty his unwarranted addutide is towards me. So this os one of the games he plays and ways he punishes me for pi***** him off and getting attention. Using me as a means to get the attenion and fawning over he feels he doesn't get enough of. I am being used as a scapegoat for his purpose. I went down there and was snooping around. I get very mad that he will mourph into a different person and then bad mouth me and lie. i mean its one thing if the stuff is true, but he straight out is a pathological liar. I went down to hide and listen and catch glances in the living room because the more times i see and hear this sid eof him. IT REMINDS ME NOT TO STAY after he comes back up stairs to me and says how much he loves me and that everything is our relationship is going fine ect. I HAVE RECORDED him with my computer webcam recorder. Saying the exact opposite of things he has told this Jehova Wittness people and his friends..The exact opposite. I WILL EMAIL IT TO ANYONE WHO WANTS IT SO AT LEAST SOMEONE KNOWS AM NOT THE ABUSER /LIAR. He either has split personalities or is just psychotic and mentally ill. I don't think he is delusional, I think he is a VERY higly intelligent man. He is 27 years older than me. SO he has been around a lot longer than me. he knows the difference between a lie and the truth. Its funny because durning one part of there conversation the Jehova Wittness starts talking about "abuse is about dominating control ect " and he is in there shaking his head verbally agreeing with a sad look on his face( For a while now( i Have proof" he has been telling these guys he is begin abused. Any time I make him mad, HE says : He is being abused" BUT !!!!!!! What happens in the retelling of the story is he says. I am abusing him then he ( incerts what he does PLUS other stuff that boarders on really messed up because its lies ).. It almost has a comical side to it because he is is bluntly ! BLANTLY lying. not saying half truth half opinion but straight out lying. So teh retelling doesn't say lost my temper adn she told me i have a anger problem. He says I am verbally mentally abusing him and then adds extar stuff for effect Then he sits there and bases in all the sympathy and attenion and love and " Oh ( his name ) You should leave her. This guy gave him scriptures that prove God wants him to leave the Women he talked about ( I isn't me but if he was with a women that was like that he should leave her just like me being with a guy with those traits he talked about should be left alone. ). OH did i mention I just remembered i did p*** him off right before that m=Jehov wittness meeting but honestly I think it was more one of his moodswinsg personality shifts. I mean it is like living with different personalities. HE is the man nasty aggressive ( his name,) then he is the druge dupe calm ( his name) with modo swings in between, then he is the attention seeker (his name ) then ect ect . He can go form beige nice and calm to really irritated( not a moderate anger but IRRATED and mean within a matter of 10 mintues shifts sometimes. We sat and watch this movie everything was ok. Then I saw him going into himself again. His facial expressions changed ( classic I have learned what to look for before one of his morphs ) then he goes from being chill and enjoying a movie to this other state in his head and am like ( oh s** not gain). SO right beef this meeting I saw this happening tried some causal conversation about how me liked the movie( i had suggested it) and he gets snappy with me. WELL excuse me fo retrying to have a d** civil converstaionw ith you. He said soothing snappy then todl me as walking away i Have to get ready fo rmy meeting( the meeting with JEhova Wittness every Wes. ). Though i can't think of what happened form watching the movie and me asking how he liked it. This seems to be a precursor for before he is about to bad mouth me. Its like am sure a mood swing but he always works himself up i think trying to find a reasonto justify the verbal asset and slander he is about to do. And the worst part is then he will come upstairs after the meeting is done with a big grin on his face give me a kiss on the cheek pretending like nothing happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( * * * ). I will ask him questions about stuff i heard or at other times read to see if he will tell me the same thing he bad outsh me about and he never will. Durning the after effect of his high from getting attenion he then comes to me and tells me how much he loves me and am right for him that he wants me in his life and i have a ( good heart) oh bless his heart ( said comically sarcastically ) esp after he just tore apart my reoutaion for nothing. That is what makes him crazy. Its one thing when someone has "done" something wrong to you its another thing when the same pperosn you can in her face sing of your love for tell her how sweet great she is then go downstairs and tell people ( cuz you think she isn't listening) that she is mean and controlling and abuse ect). I have noticed his examples are never detailed and its more of him using words that draw a reacting out of people more than "soild eXMAPLES"" So what bothered me last night is the fact i heard the Jehov Wittnes guy tell him to ask me to leave for his "safety". NOW HOLD ON HERE ?!?! What type of stuff is he making up ..? I can't hear everything. So there were defentiyaly parts I clearly heard the stuff i did and this was one thing. I think some of this is a result of a pastime I stood up to him and left and told him I was going to speak with a domestic abuse lawyer if he harassed me. ( The first times I left he was throwing glass at me and spitting on me ect ) So I told me I was going to take any threats ect seriously. He would always remind me of his 3 lawyers to try to make me scared of him so I reminded him that there are people who will understand my situation and how he treated me. He always brags about his 3 lawyers having them and havng money and how he let some people get away with doing stuff to him but others they didn't stand a chance. Also I have told him before that eh was being abusive towards me and acting erratic. OH BOY did he go offffff! So this is him trying to protect him self and try ot make me look dumb. He has asked me to meet the people he calls his friends who he bad mouths me too. I think to try to humailate me. He tells me me would never bad mouth em to people yet I see emails texts ect that show he does adn the people he bad mouths em the most to he has wanted me to meet for a long time time but I refuse. I meant the jEHOVAWittness people twice not for long and only spoken to his one friend on phone. The other people i won't meet hang out with ect. They only know what he says about me and non of it good. SO why do it I think now he is "portraying" through phase information adnslander that he is a abuse vim up until the point of saying i may hurt him…?? This is why its dangerous for me to be around him. Not just the mood swings but when he does stuff like this. And these people believe very word. i heard the seriousness in there voice. See what i mean. If I leave and go to a domestic abuse shelter( if they ever actually left me in ) andhe takes me to court HE IS SETTING IT UP TO MIMICK WHAT HE KNOWS AM GOING TO SAY ABOUT HIM. THE DIFFERENC AM TELLING THE TRUTH HE IS LYING. ITS all to show me who's boss and to put me in my place( whEN i HAVE STOOD UP TO HIM i THINK E FEELS LIEK AM LESS THAN HIM AND SHOUDL TAKE HOWEVER HE TREATS ME SO HE GETS vendetta for very time i hAVE DONE SOEMTHING LIKE THAT). I really though he forgot about past tinges when we would get back together and he would say we will go see a counselor ect He was sorry he loves me. The whole time he was resenting me as I see now. Why does he think he can take a person and treat her like his proerty and stomp on her spit on her kick her around bad mouth her and his lili pet should say thank you may i Have another or simply just bow down. He is insane. Me verbally abuse him when half the time I don't even say anything. I literally have had "short lived moments" of standing up to him not a on going thing. So to say what he said more than once is really making me mad and a little scared because i am realizing am not knowing the extent he is taking his lander against me. These people have been coming to see him for awhile. SO they have compete trust he is a good guy that is the only side they have ever seen of him. I KNOW LIFE IS UNAFAIR BUT THIS IS F**** RIDCULOUS So THIS IS WHY am afraid to leave and if i DO EVEN do something if he harasses me. He will pull out all the guns. How long had he beensending emails out and ect talking with people before i FOUDN OUT. What had his twist dmind been saying to get attenion while smiling in my face and saying he loved me. HE IS TWISTED and I a tried of being the bad guy. I am sick and tired of it. ENough is enough.At first I was going to cry and become really scared and stressed about it and I but you know what he is lying and freaking crazy and I am tried of being tired and scared. These people would come to court and testify as a charter supporter person lol. So me having no family to begging with and my friends being estranged in other states. They can't testify to much and couldn't fly here to do so. He has more leverage than I do in short. This is so messed up. i am not a bad person yet i have to deal with people who don't know me from a can of paint but think they can write a book on me nothing good of course. He is twisted if you date him he gets busy using you as a scapegoat to get attention when your not around. Say we had a great day heck a great week HE WOUDLD STILL GO AND send emails to people making up all kinds of stuff. What normal person does this type of stuff…? I have never meant a more mentally imbalanced person. You seek help and advice from people when things are going bad who just does this to get attention. In my face he is either going off on me or saying he loves me and how great i am and treat him ect then back to yelling at me or freaking out. Then he goes and does what happened yesterday I think to kinda dominate. hE IS MORE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE with switches into being just aggressive. In his passive aggressive state he will smile at me and say I LOVE YOU THEN VISABALY DRAMATCALLY ROLL HIS EYES ( and if I say anything he will tell me am abusing him because am acussing him of something he did do or mean ). He will do stuff just to see if i will say something or stand up to him. mostly I don't because HE Will WIN. so i EITEHR BACK DOWN OR just don't do anything for fear of more slander our dealing with him being so mean to me. I am suffering for every amount of anger and pain he is ever had every irratetd and he is finding was mentally to jusifty it lying to himself then sharing it with others. There is reality and there is fiction. He lives in his own world and plays many personalities but allied back to a angry one who has "unfounded" anger. Why am I being punished for nothing. I don't derseve the slander or his fake smiles and lying to my face. I have him recorded. I will use it if I ever think I need to. Because people need ot know the truth. So his other friend has been doing some research for him not knowing what type of person he is helping but not caring ( my bf helps him and his wife with there debts ). Like most people in his life he has helped ( according to his own mouth) with money. Whetehr with this one friend with a lawyer when he got introuble for selling drugs to a undercover cop. My BFS 3 lawyers went to this "friends" rescue. My bf fit the bill. So some people have a undying loyalty to him for past help and future help. He is a calling card foR THEM. my bf LOANED THIS FRIEND MONEY SO HI ADN HIS WIFE AND KIDS could stay in there house. SO HE WOUDL Say anything MY BF told him to. If someone helped keep you out of jail kept a roof over your wife and kids house then who cares how he deals with treats some girl he doesn't even know…. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE EMAIL ATLEAST ONE CHURCH OR SOMEONE THEY KNOW WHO THEY THINK MAY BE ABLE TO HELP. I HAVE BEN EMAILING CHURCHES ECT. I AM WILLING TO RELOCATE FOR HELP. INFACT IF SOMETHING COMES UP OUT OF STATE I WILL LEAVE RIGHT AWAY. I NEED SOMEWHERE TO GO . SHELTERS IN MY AREA STILL GIVING ME RUN AROUND.