Hello, I joined here back in 2013 but never got involved much. I'm here because of have no clue where to turn: -I do go to counseling -I was on Paroxetine until last month, my doctor helped me quit -I'm 29, live with my family because we have room & I help out my mom -No job because the ones I get (usually retail) involve managers getting me to quit because they do not like that I went to college or live in the nicer neighborhood here -I've got OCD involving physical contamination or equality of others touching things -Never got over my ex from 2012, I feel like I'm going to die every night because of how much I regret the little time we had -I feel like everything I love is getting contaminated by people I do not like or my family which I do love but for other reasons -I wanted to go into law enforcement (my degree is in criminal justice) but nobody is hiring people without experience -My mom is trying to get me to move up to North Dakota to find work, I was depressed there before because of the isolation/drastic lifestyle changes I'm sorry if this is too much to understand, please be gentle right now. I'm going to my counselor on the 14th but need relief until then. I'm not tough enough to end my life, nor do I want to. I've been praying from 9/13 for God to give me 2nd chances or let me redo the frequent moment here or there I cannot move past & I've given money to the church to try to buy redemption. For the past year I felt like I was going to get my prayers come to pass, but with nothing happening I'm losing everything. I'd like not only to find peace here, but to help others like I was before on the OCD boards I frequented. Thanks for taking the moment to greet me!