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re welcome me?

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Starlite

Senior Member
#1
I don't know if anyone remembers me or not, but I hope you will re welcome me back, I need a little support at the moment,

Karren
 

Julia-C

Well-Known Member
#3
I don't remember you but I am kinda new. Either way, welcome back. :) I hope the support you need is something we can help with.
 

Starlite

Senior Member
#7
well i had this big long post typed out and lost it...

sigh

so i am going to try again

I remember you too Sadeyes

I've had some childhood memories come to surface. Some bad ones that only now I remembered. I don't know why they stay buried for so long and just now came to light. They are horrible and on top of that, Me and my brother have had a falling out. I am in therapy and she is a great therapist and we are working on these issues, slowly as to not overwhelm me. But I don't tell her how i really am feeling. I am scared. Even when in therapy some days when we are talking all i want to do is curl up in a ball in a corner on the floor somewhere in her office , but i don't because the adult in me feels too embarrassed to do such a thing.

Then some days when i am feeling at my lowest point that I don'tknow whether i want to live or die, i put all my pills in my purse and drive to her office and sit in her parking lot (on the weekends when her office is closed) and think i can sit here and take all these pills and noone will find me until monday morning. Part of me wants to live, part of me wants to die.

I am fighting myself hard to stay alive...and that is why i came here...i want to keep fighting, but i feel weakened, and i need help .....support....will someone here help me fight my fight please?
 

Stranger1

Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
#8
Hi Karren, Welcome back!! I was wondering what ever happened to you.. I'm sure you will get more replies..Stick around and let us help, o.k.??
 

hollowvoice

Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
#9
hi karren this part of your post stuck out to me

Part of me wants to live, part of me wants to die.

thats good that part of you want to live it means you still have hope and while you have that then you have a future,i hate the low points in this life and all the bad thoughts they bring with them ,but you need to listen to the part of you that wants to live

oh and welcome back im hollowvoice nice to meet you xx
 

Starlite

Senior Member
#12
hi karren this part of your post stuck out to me

Part of me wants to live, part of me wants to die.

thats good that part of you want to live it means you still have hope and while you have that then you have a future,i hate the low points in this life and all the bad thoughts they bring with them ,but you need to listen to the part of you that wants to live

oh and welcome back im hollowvoice nice to meet you xx
Nice to meet you hollowvoice:

That part of me that wants to live is the part of me that wonders what the future would hold that didn't have the past that holds onto me! That part that wants to die is the part that holds on the past that somehow never lets go. I know that talking about the past and letting a trusted person in and opening up slowly is what it is all about, i do that bit by bit, or am starting to with my therapist , and her only , but for some reason, right now, it isn't enough.
 

icequeen

Well-Known Member
#17
hi and altho i dont know you, welcome back, i am sure nothing has changed since your last visit, everyone seems nice and supportative and i guess that is what brought you back.

i can half relate to childhood stuff resurfacing so long after...i am therapy for something else, and wham! it unearthed something i would have rather stayed buried and it can interfere with healing. as it is a new memory you try not to acknowledge it as real and maybe this is why at the moment its hard for you to cope as you have not yet acknowledged it as a reality, and having a falling out with you bro is just another issue to upset you. stick with the therapy, in time you will know when it feels right to open up. i think many here doesnt tell therapist how they truly feel, its hard to hand your heart and soul to a stranger. maybe keep a diary of how you feel day to day and take it to each session and let therapist read it, that way you dont have to say anything.

hope we can help you to stay here :hug:
 
#18
hey I hope that we can help

I think that if you could tell your therapist theses things, or at least some of these things, it might help

could you write her a letter?
 
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