RE: What happens next

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by mybabygirl, Mar 27, 2007.

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  1. mybabygirl

    mybabygirl Member

    On feb,16 2007 my beautiful daughter Randie tried too take her life by hanging..I never got her on time.She is left badly brain damaged wth no quality of life.I don't let her friends visit her just to save her some dignity..The doctors have asked me about letting her go..just thinking about loosing her forever rips my heart out...I want her back so bad..How am i ever going to get over this..She was only 15,she made a horrible mistake why does she have to suffer for a bad choice..
     
  2. Fantasia

    Fantasia Member

    Gosh. This sounds like such a hard place for you to be in.
    I'm not sure anyone but you can decide the outcome of this. You need to do what you think is right.
    It is going to be hard for you whatever you decide. I'm sorry you've had to go through this x
     
  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    :( Im so so sorry you have to go through this. God i cant imagine how hard this must be for you. I dont know what to say, facing such a decision must be utterly heart wrenching. You have my condolences.
     
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Only you can decide what is best, only your heart can decide. I'm sorry you are in such a terrible place, my heart aches for you. Whatever decision you do make know that the people here will be here to support you and help you through this horrible time. My thoughts are with you.

    Kells
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I can only echo the others.

    My heart totally goes out to you both and your family. Only you can make the choice, and there is not necessarily a 'right' or 'wrong' solution. You can only do what you see as best in the circumstances.

    Maybe before you make the decision you could talk to someone? Like a therapist? OR if you are religious a priest or something? They might help you to decide what you want and also support you through this terrible time.

    I feel that my words are hollow, but I really do feel for you all.

    Thinking of you
     
  6. mybabygirl

    mybabygirl Member

  7. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Re: website for my daughter

    I have merged 'What happens next' and 'website for my daughter' together because the website of your daughter would make more sense in this thread; also, the two threads could have gotten apart as more people may have responded to one more than the other. :)

    Take care :hug:

    Joe
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry to hear about Randie. Nothing I can say will comfort you at a time like this. The decision you are faced with is an extremely difficult one. I know it will not be taken lightly and many heartwrenching times will lie ahead of you. Know that you have found a place where you can come to and pour out your thoughts, your anger, your frutration, fears, anything you need to help you get through. My thoughts are with you and your family as you struggle through this time. If you need a shoulder, know that you may PM me anytime.
     
  9. amylou

    amylou Well-Known Member

    All I can say is look in her eyes then deep in your hart you'll know whats right follow your hart.What ever you decide I'll be thinking of you
     
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I have visited your website for Randie. The love continues to poor out for her. She means a great deal to many people. I do not envy you your decision. You mention keeping her dignity. What would you want if you were the one lying there instead of her. I hope you find peace with whatever decision you come to. I hope she finds peace as well. :hug:
     
  11. Lonz

    Lonz Active Member

    Maybe she still needs her friends. They taught me in CNA class that we were not to speak in front of comatose people because you never know. Consider letting her friends in, maybe?
     
  12. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    People may not always know what to say to comfort you...but we do care!
    You have created a beautiful site for messages and prayers. Randie is a very beautiful young lady!!!
    Part of why her friends may want to visit is not for her or you but the love they have for their friend. They are hurting too. They do NOT want to lose her. Perhaps she needs to feel all the love.


    A most important task after an attempt is not to blame ourselves. But, to hear and forgive all. It is a trial and extrememly heartbreaking to hurt with your child. You will make the right choices at the right time, there is no right or wrong now.

    I will to pray to God that He will heal Randie. I also will check your site on how things are.
    It may help to talk to others and get ideas on how to handle things when you feel overwhelmed. Sorting things out is going to be difficult. I am glad you came on SF to start and hold on. Stay strong in this time.
    Take care-
    TLA


    Below are links of some good sites I have used in the past. Just hang on to it until you need.

    A forum for other parents, families. Real life!! The first site I learned from. Many nice people--
    http://www.memory-of.com/Forums/ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=18

    A mother's view--
    http://www.suicide.org/suicidal-suicide-survivor.html

    Twin brother--
    http://www.kirstio.com/tore.html

    Troubled with, from Focus on the Family--
    http://www.troubledwith.com/Parenti...topic=parenting teens: depression and suicide

    Don't shut yourself out and grieve alone. Get strength online or in group.
    Parents view--
    http://www.newsleader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070328/NEWS01/703280323/1002

    Good info--LATER--
    http://suicideandmentalhealthassociationinternational.org/survivorpics.html

    A Fierce Goodbye--Faith Based Perspective
    http://www.fiercegoodbye.com/

    Another mother's story--
    http://www.lisalamb3.com/butterfly/butterfly.html

    The Suicide Grief Discussion Board--
    http://www.suicidediscussionboard.com

    Losing a child to suicide--
    http://childsuicide.homestead.com/
     
  13. Jasin

    Jasin Member

    I just signed up for this site and I just have to say...that I really feel like a moron right now. Not to talk about myself too much in this thread, but I really feel like I have no right to be depressed right now. I'm 24 and I don't have any children, but having a child try to commit suicide has to be about the worst thing anybody can ever go through.

    To be honest, I'm almost crying right now looking at those pictures, and I haven't cried in about 5 years. I hate to admit that on a public forum, but it's true. Just looking at that site for your daughter has probably ruined my day. You are an extremely strong woman to have to press on every day with what happened to your daughter. Believe me, I usually never type things like this. I'm actually a very stoic, cerebral person - but I felt compelled to type this. She really is a beautiful young woman.
     
  14. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF Jasin. Maybe you could post a little about yourself in the Welcome Forum. That way we could all get to know you a bit.

    mybabygirl- I have been wondering about how you and your family are doing. I haven't visited her website for awhile, but I know people here would be interested in knowing. You are still in my thoughts and prayers every night. I wish you the peace you so rightly deserve. Take care, all of you. :hug:
     
  15. HelpingHand

    HelpingHand Active Member

    I have a story and some advice for you.


    Long before I was born my grandfather got in a car crash he was left in the almost the same state. For 5 long years he lay in bed suffering as the family suffered with him. It was so sad and horrible it will shatter your heart. He died after fire years of pain. And that was a good thing because it brought a end to his misery.

    I would say the best thing you could do is let her go. As you said she has no joy in life and their isn't any point in her living. I am sorry but it is for the best. Think of it as setting her soul free. I remember how painful it was to put my dog down I can only try to times that pain by a million to get a idea about how you feel.

    I am truely sorry about what is happening to you and your daughter.
     
  16. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    I am truly sorry for the agonizing position you are in, as a mother, my heart goes out to you. I just wonder if you might rethink your decision about her friends, it is possible Randie can hear, a visit from her friends won't make her any worse and may even be beneficial.
    As for continuing/withdrawing treatment, are you having help, advise, support from family, friends, therapists, doctors? What a heartbreaking decision to have to make, my heart goes out to you.

    :hug: Hazel
     
  17. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I know that you posted the original post nearly a month ago, and I just wondered how things were for you all now?

    Thinking of you.
     
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