Reached a point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mitch179, Feb 18, 2009.

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  1. mitch179

    mitch179 New Member

    Never thought I would be posting on here, but recently, it's just come to the point where I don't know if I can take it anymore.

    What's funny is, I'm generally a very happy, bubbly person, and in the past, have never once even considered suicide as the easy way out.

    A few weeks ago, I received news from my doctor of a health issue that I won't go into. Let's just say it's an infection and it will eventually require surgery to get completely cleared. (Currently on the waiting list)

    At this current point in time, I am taking antibiotics to help manage the issue. These antibiotics are making me feel even worse with some very major side effects, and the doctor is refusing to change the antibiotics because he claims that they are actually helping with the infection. (Besides the fact that I am feeling worse by taking them then I was not taking them)

    The side effects seem to be on and off but are now getting worse, and I don't think I can take it. On top of this, school is keeping me well stressed out, and I don't think it's fair. I also work part time and it's not helping the situation, as I find myself waking up on days I have to work and crying.

    This, on top of a few social issues has triggered thoughts in my mind that I have never thought before, including OD'ing, hanging myself and cutting, and I don't think I can take it anymore.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi.... welcome to s.f. - the support i have found here - has saved my life. i am so glad you reached out - it is a very courageous and positive thing to do - and shows that you want to be good to yourself....

    please keep reaching out here - pm any of us, if you want to talk - someone is always around. ((yes, antibiotics can be really rough on all our systems. but you have to keep taking them - ie;, take a full course of them - or they don't work properly, and you have to get this infection healed hun))

    let us help you through this rough time - - :hug:
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome..if the side effects are of these meds, at least you know they are temporary...I hope that when the infection is under control and you are back to a healthier state, you will feel better...again, welcome and glad you found us...J
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Some meds may trigger depression, it is normal and you should tell it to your doc
    The good part of all this is that after you stop the meds you are back to normal
    unlike many of us here that cant do anything to stop the pain...
  5. pensive1981

    pensive1981 Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you have something to really look forward to once your surgery and recovery are done. The drugs and side effects right now may be very unpleasant and hard to take - but the light at the end of the tunnel is visible and you know it won't last forever. I think you've got some good reasons to hang on and wait for better times. They are on their way.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You really should keep taking the antibiotics so it clears up the infection. It might hurt now because it is fighting the infection off. The doctor may need to have it gone before he can do the surgery. It's like the dentist if you have an infection and need a tooth pulled he will give you antibiotics to take and reschedule you to remove the tooth. They don't want the infection to spread!!!
  7. mitch179

    mitch179 New Member

    Thanks for all your messages of support.

    I have had these antibiotics before, and this is the second course of them. It seems that the side effects only last the first couple of days of the course, and then they sort of calm down, and the rest of the course is generally fine.

    Today I feel a lot better, still a bit down, but I think I'll pull through.
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    If the illness isn't fatal or severely life-changing, you should be happy that you at least know what it is, how to fix it and that you can get it fixed.

    I don't mean to make light of your problems but a while back, I was so ill that I didn't think I was going to make it. I was confined to my bed for weeks and too stubborn to go to the doctor. I was having all kinds of strange and very painful symptoms. By the time I started to come out of it, I know I must have lost at least 40 pounds and could barely walk. I'd basically given up and was just waiting to die. I couldn't eat, could barely drink. Was doing nothing but coughing all day long.

    It took me a long time to get my strength back after that but there's no way I'd have thought I'd still be here today when I was in the middle of that. Like I said, I thought I was a goner. It's never over until it's over. The human body is incredibly resilient.
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