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Reaching out for help ... what do I do from here.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by yada, Aug 28, 2007.

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  1. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone,

    I am reaching out for help here, as I have this sinking hopeless feeling nowadays again. It's bad again because I am very unmotivated to do anything, and in doing nothing I realize that I am sinking myself into further financial issues, and that makes me feel like I have anxiety.

    I am single, don't speak with my parents/sister, as they purposely make me feel worse about myself, and I work from home, so I don't have much interaction with anyone.

    I recently lost the support of my only close relatives, who had been really good to me for some time, and who I confided in about my issues. But now it seems that they have been "playing me". I now wonder if they ever really cared about me and my issues, or if they were just satisfying their own curiosity. I could be wrong, but I can't think of any other reason. In that respect, I'm also somewhat happy that I never told them my deeper issues. Add a recent dispute (including them doing certain things that I asked them not to do, but to trust me on it) and we're not on speaking terms now. I feel betrayed and it will be hard to trust anyone now.

    I've become intolerant of people's general BS also. As an example, a friend got divorced and she moved back near me last year and needed support, which I provided. Now, she's got a new place, new job, and hence new friends, and when I need support, she's not there for me. I may be able to accept that, but now she plays games like saying she'll call me back, then doesn't, and today she's calls and says that she's waiting for me to call her. So I politely told her that I have no time for these games and we ended the call quickly.

    I am not self-destructive... I've pretty much stopped drinking, never done drugs, and I don't cut myself. I want to be in my senses as it helps me think through my situation and options. But in my unmotivated state, I can't seem to do anything about it, and whatever I do is not working.

    I need help. I don't need a suicide hotline or other quick chat, but I need someone who can listen to my situation and provide answers, and that will take more than one phone call. I've tried a professional in the past, and was very jaded by the process/system. I would still consider a professional, but I can't afford to go experiment with many different ones for many sessions each at hundreds of dollars each time. I have no health insurance. Someone else suggested that there may be psych services for low-income people, but I still have not found any in my area.

    I'm really trying to find answers to fix my situation, and without support I can't do this by myself anymore. Anyone have any ideas I can try.

    Thanks for anything you can help me with,
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Do you have friends on this forum because that may be of help. As for those relatives that played you, well there actions spoke louder than words. And just because their related to you, doesn't mean anything. Friends can be closer then family.

    If you ever need someone to talk to or to listen to you then feel free to get in contact with me anytime.
  3. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    Mystic, thanks for reading my post.

    Not here I don't. I'm the type that can't usually open up about myself in an informal setting, and usually can't even speak with anyone over a phone about something personal... I much prefer a physical friend. I'm odd like that. Sometimes I do type my feelings here to vent to the world because writing helps me clarify my feelings. I do have other friends, but no one else close that I can go hang out with. Everyone has their own families/lives that they need to attend to. I'm the only loser.

    Up to this point, I really believe that my system of constantly searching, analyzing, and rationally thinking of answers for myself has been my greatest source of relief and progress towards resolving my situation. However, to do this I've needed just moral support from a true friend. Unfortunately for me, I've now lost what I felt were my true friends... the relatives. I would actually like to find out that I am wrong about what I think happened, as accepting that I'm wrong is nothing compared to the pain of losing them.

    I was hoping that there would've been some professional help available for someone in my situation, but it seems the world has left me to fade away in pain.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Finding the right therapist can be hard and of course when you first start with them there is all the issues of trust that have to be got over.
    I had a wonderful therapist and part of me knew from the second session that he was the right one...tho it scared me silly.
    You will get angry with them, fall in love with them, hate them and fight them..but if they are any good they know this will happen and help you work thru it.
    There are good therapists out there, get looking. :smile:
  5. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately "start looking" means start spending, and without health insurance that is a scary thought. I cannot put myself in that position again, as being in that situation a few years ago caused me major anxiety. I'm absolutely willing to look for low-cost therapists that I understand are available for low-income individuals. Just haven't found any in my area yet.

    The other question on my mind is how long do people see therapists before feeling good about themselves and is there any point at which people can consider themselves recovered (ie: they can stop seeing the therapist)? Of course I know this answer will vary, but I'd like to know what people have experienced ... weeks, months, decades?
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I worked every hour God sends to pay for my therapist. As I'm in the UK I was lucky enought to have him free of charge for nigh on 13 months, but after a years' break I knew I needed to go back to him which I had to do privately. I saw him for the next 3 years twice a week.
    Not sure if one is ever fully "cured" guess it depends on what the problem was to start with, but he gave me insight and closure on so much of my childhood and for that I'll be eternally grateful. :smile:
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