Reacting violently to taunting, bullying, harrassment & teasing

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Xaos, Dec 7, 2009.

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Do you think violence is a justifiable reaction?

  1. Yes

    28 vote(s)
    58.3%
  2. No

    20 vote(s)
    41.7%
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  1. Xaos

    Xaos Well-Known Member

    If someone is -or a group of people are- deliberately angering you at work on a frequent basis, do you think that being violent is a justifiable reaction?

    By violent, I mean anything from a bruise to a broken bone, nothing as serious as paralysis or murder.
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    NO! Absolutely not. First of all you can get sued and this is not the way to go as it will just escalate the situation.

    Please go to management. If they do not act, keep a record of letters to management and get an attorney.
     
  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I think it's an UNDERSTANDABLE reaction but not a justifiable one.

    You cannot simply resort to violence everytime people taunt, harass or bully you. That's what being adult has (or at least is supposed to have) taught us.

    But I can't pretend like I can't relate - because sabotage, usually involving some form of violence, is often my first thought also.
    It just can't be done though because as Mike said, it'll makes things worse for you in the long run.
     
  4. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I voted yes. If you are being taunted bullied or harrassed then I would react, a punch in the face normally will suffice. Furthermore, I am an advocate of a principle called 'propoganda of the Deed'.:ninja:
     
  5. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    Blah, I voted yes before I read that it would be in response to only verbal stuff. Sorry!! I don't think it's the right thing when it's just verbal confrontation, but if someone hits you, you should hit back, imo. It's self-defense, you're protecting your body. But verbal stuff, I'd just report it.
     
  6. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    Being someone who has experienced taunting and bullying in excess, and who never fought back, I can say I regret that I never even tried to stand up for myself...

    And being someone who has experienced it, I can say it is completely justifiable and acceptable to use violence in response to any kind of bullying
     
  7. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    If you punch someone wrong, it could kill them. If you push them and they fall and bang their head, it could kill them!!!

    Violence is NEVER the answer!

    Even if someone hit me, i wouldnt hit them back, id stand up smile and say 'gotcha' then go to the nearest hospital, get a medical report done up, call the cops and bring their ass to court!!!! Hurt them more by taking their money off them, dragging them to court and tarnishing their name, criminal record so they are restricted from world travel and so much more. Id laugh in their faces then!!!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 7, 2009
  8. Kris.T

    Kris.T Well-Known Member

    It's not justifiable, but definately understandable. Alot of times reacting physically can actually backfire on you, and either you can lose your job if it's in a work place, or it will just anger those who are taunting and bullying you, and lead to them harrassing you worse then before.
     
  9. pit

    pit Well-Known Member


    But that's where the comedy comes in!

    :mort:
     
  10. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    Unfortunately there is a street code and probably not just here in America where you only get "respect" and an end to the harassment if you physically challenge your tormentors. There is the theoretically best solution of involving authorities and then there is the street-level reality of having to show the bullies you will "man up" to their challenge even if outnumbered and out muscled. It is very unfortunate.
     
  11. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I make honest "I" statements such as, "I am really hurt by your words." It may bring more taunting but accurately describing what is happening can often have a deep effect on others.

    Some people have to achieve feeling superior by bullying and often accurate statements detract from that feeling. They don't like to face that and will often back off at least some if not all.

    No one has to take this kind of abuse. I would seek out help from any authority available to this matter. Unfortunately this option is not readily available when one is bullied by a family member.

    My ex husband comes to mind. When I started using accurately descriptive words spoken quietly without using "you" statements, he stopped a lot of his verbal abuse. He would say he was only kidding, I would say, "I don't feel like it was kidding, I feel put down."

    There are no simple solutions to any bullying. All of it hurts. It takes time to learn responses to bullying.

    I never knew what to do when the sexual innuendos would come my way. I finally tried saying with a surprised look on my face, "Slap yourself!"

    Many times I was surprised at how hard some of these guys would slap them selves.

    To anyone who is being bullied, you never deserve it. Seek help. Post here for ideas if you need to.

    :hug:
     
  12. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    I think if its physical bullying and they start it in retaliation/self defense yes. If theyre calling you names and such no.
     
  13. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member


    Same here. :)
    I agree with you!
     
  14. Xaos

    Xaos Well-Known Member

    Yeah, thats true, telling your boss makes you look like an idiot because of those unwritten "rules" ...they'll give you a few comforting words like "don't worry about them, they're idiots, just ignore them" and that'd be the end of it.

    But if the ones annoying you are all pally pally with the boss, it makes you look even more of a tool and you'd be lucky to get even a few comforting words.

    Words become more than words when its consistant and coming from people who aren't your mates. Some nasty words as a joke between friends is much different to bullying, it can get very annoying when it goes too far.

    Saying "just ignore it" would be great advice to someone who is already deaf.
     
  15. nok1888

    nok1888 Well-Known Member

    If you get hit or attacked in any way then yes, you have the right to defend yourself
     
  16. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I voted yes, it's justifiable. I wouldn't say that it is necessarily right, but some people just are not satisfied until it comes to blows. Violence will probably escalate an already heated situation but if the aggressor shows no sign of backing off, honestly if his victim gets fed up and decks him one day he had it coming.

    I see where a lot of people are coming from, violence should never be the first course of action, but a lot of the time the people harrassing others do it because they know the person won't retaliate. If you're known for being a total pussy, a lot of the time bullies will pick you out. You don't have to go around punching everyone who gives you a hard time but I think it's important to confront the people that try to and let them know that if they want to make your life hell, it isn't going to be easy.
     
  17. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    You know, under normal circumstances with normal adult humans who can speak rationally to one another, using "I" statements and any other form of healthy, assertive communication can work.

    Trying to use healthy, assertive communication with a bully only ends up kicking you in the teeth, and frustrating you more, just like trying to talk rationally to a narcissist does, because these people are not normal, nor adult, nor rational, and are only physically human (that is to say they lack empathy, an important human quality).

    Your only recourse, if you don't want to punch them in the face (or go after their wallet, or whatever else is their weak spot), is to totally ignore them and walk away. They can't bear being ignored, more than anything else. Its the worst way to get them.

    Be warned, this, too, can turn them on you and cause them to act even more aggressively to try and push your buttons.

    There are really few ways to win with these people short of getting outside help from sources they will respect, or being able to hit them where they hurt.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 9, 2009
  18. bhawk

    bhawk Well-Known Member

    violence is the only thing that stopped half the shit that was happening to me.
    Of course its justifiable. the social facade we fool ourselves with does not hide that its instinctive
     
  19. Xaos

    Xaos Well-Known Member

    i wouldn't call it "street cred" though, just if you don't stand up to assholes, at least verbally, it leaves u as an open target
     
  20. Disappear

    Disappear Well-Known Member

    No because you'd get done for assault and then have a stained record. There's usually more civil ways to deal with such things.
     
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